ENGLISH SKETCHES(colour, WITHOUTTeaching notes).pdf

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The ticket inspector: . . . . . . . . . .76
Tea break: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .77
The King of Boonland: . . . . . . . . .78
The restaurant: . . . . . . . . . . . . . .80
The doctor: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .82
Gussett and Rose: . . . . . . . . . . . .84
Hotel Splendido: . . . . . . . . . . . . .85
The passport office: . . . . . . . . . . .86
Fire practice: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .88
The post office: . . . . . . . . . . . . .90
Mr. Jones: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .92
The shoe stall: . . . . . . . . . . . . . .94
The check-in desk: . . . . . . . . . . .96
The police: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .98
The bus stop: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .100
A ticket to Birmingham: . . . . . . . .102
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SKETCHES
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Gerry Thatcher's party: . . . . . . . .104
The army: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106
The dentist: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108
Mr. Williams and the postman: . . .110
Tourist information: . . . . . . . . . . .112
The bank: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .114
The Superlative vacuum cleaner: . .116
Superman and the psychiatrist: . . .118
The lost property office: . . . . . . . .120
The travel agency: . . . . . . . . . . .122
Gerry Brown's driving test: . . . . . .124
Giovanni 's café: . . . . . . . . . . . . .126
Shakespeare's house: . . . . . . . . .128
Mr. Universe: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .130
The new James Bond film: . . . . . .132
World record: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .134
SKETCHES
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The ticket inspector
Passenger: Ooh, are you a famous per-
son?
Inspector: (Flattered) Famous? Well, not
very (Back to normal) Sir, I
am a ticket inspector. I inspect
tickets. Are you going to show
me your ticket?
Passenger: No, I haven't got a ticket.
Inspector see.
(The ticket inspector puts his
hand into his pocket.)
Passenger: 'What are you going to do?
Inspector: I'm going to write your name
in my book.
Passenger: Oh
Inspector: What is your name, sir?
Passenger: Mickey Mouse,
(The inspector begins to
write.)
Inspector: Mickey
Passenger: Mouse. M-O-U-S-E.
(The inspector stops writing.)
Inspector: Your name, sir?
Passenger: Karl Marx? William
Shakespeare? Charles
Dickens?
Inspector: I see, sir. Well, if you're not
going to tell me your name,
please leave the train,
Passenger: Pardon?
Inspector: Leave the train.
Passenger: I can't.
Inspector: You can't what?
Passenger: I can't leave the train.
Inspector: Why not?
Passenger: It's moving,
Inspector: Not now, sir. At the next sta-
tion.
Passenger: Oh.
Inspector: It's in the book, sir. When you
travel by train, you buy a tick-
et, and if you don't buy a tick-
et, you
Passenger-Inspector: leave the train.
Inspector: Here we are, sir. We're coming
to a station. Please leave the
train now.
Passenger: Now?
Inspector: Yes, sir. I'm sorry, but
Passenger: Oh, that's OK.
Inspector: it's in the book, and what did
you say?
Passenger: I said: That's OK.'
Inspector: OK?
Passenger: Yes, this is my station.
Goodbye.
(The passenger leaves the
train.)
Scene : A compartment on a train
Characters: A passenger on a train, a
ticket inspector,a steward and
a waiter
The passenger is sitting in a compartment on
a train. He is reading a newspaper. The stew-
ard opens the door.
Steward: Coffee!
Passenger: No. thanks.
(The passenger closes the
door, and continues reading.
The waiter opens the door.)
Waiter: Seats for dinner!
Passenger: No, thanks.
(The passenger closes the
door again, and continues
reading. The ticket inspector
opens the door.)
Inspector: Tickets!
Passenger: No, thanks.
Inspector: Pardon?
Passenger: I don't want a ticket, thank
you.
Inspector: I'm not selling tickets, sir.
Passenger: No?
Inspector: No, I want to see your ticket.
Passenger: Oh, I haven't got a ticket.
Inspector: You haven't got a ticket?
Passenger: No. I never buy a ticket.
Inspector: Why not?
Passenger: Well, they are very expensive,
you know.
Inspector: Sir, you're travelling on a train.
When people travel on a train,
they always buy a ticket.
Passenger: Er
Inspector: And this is a first-class com-
partment.
Passenger: Yes, it is very nice, isn't it?
Inspector: No, sir. I mean: This is a first-
class compartment. When
people travel in a first-class
compartment, they always buy
a first-class ticket.
(They look at each other for a
moment.)
Passenger: No, they don't.
Inspector: What?
Passenger: A lot of people don't buy tick-
ets. The Queen doesn't buy a
ticket, does she' Eh? Eh?
Inspector: No, sir, but she's a famous
person.
Passenger: And what about you? Where's
yours?
Inspector: Mine?
Passenger: Yes, yours. Your ticket. Have
you got a ticket?
Inspector: Me, sir?
Passenger: Yes, you.
Inspector: No, I haven't got a ticket.
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SKETCHES
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Tea break
Tom: A lemon cake and a cream tea.
Jerry: Careful!
Tom: What do you want, Martin?
Martin: A whisky and soda.
Tom: With milk and sugar?
Martin: Of course.
(Tom wants to check the orders.)
Tom: OK. Let me get this right. Sara, you
want a cup of tea, with no milk and
no sugar.
Sara: Yes. Oh...No. On second thoughts, I
think I'd prefer coffee.
Tom: Coffee.
Sara: Yes, a cup of coffee - with milk and
sugar.
Tom: Right. So - it's one coffee with milk
and sugar, and one tea with milk and
sugar.
Jane: No sugar!
Tom: No sugar. Right. Jerry, you want a
lemon tea and a big cream cake.
Jerry: That's right.
Tom: And Martin - you want a whisky and
soda.
Martin: With milk and sugar.
Tom: With milk and sugar. Right. OK. See
you in a minute.
(Tom leaves. Very soon, he comes back.)
Tom: Right, Here you are. One coffee and
soda, one whisky and cream, one
lemon and milk, and one big sugar
cake. All right?
Jane: Martin?
Martin: Yes?
Jane: Go and make some tea.
Scene: A rehearsal room in a theatre
Characters: Five actors taking a tea break:
Tom, Jerry, Jane, Martin, Sara
Jerry: All right. That's enough. It's time for
a cup of tea.
Tom: Oh, good, A cup of tea. I can't wait.
(Jerry, Jane, Martin and Sara sit
down, there is no chair for Tom)
Jane: OK, Tom, make the tea
Tom: Me
Sara: Yes, make the tea.
Tom: Make the tea? Me?
Jane: Why not?
Tom: All right. What do I have to do? I
mean, how do you make tea?
Jerry: Huh! He doesn't know how to make
tea!
Tom: OK, Jerry. How do you make tea?
Jerry: Er...I don't know.
(The others laugh)
Martin: Listen, Tom - it's easy. Put some
water in the kettle.
Sara: Put the kettle on the stove.
Jane: Light a match.
Martin: Turn on the gas.
Sara: And light the gas.
Jane: Then put some tea in the teapot -
Tom: It sounds a bit complicated.
Jane: Oh, come on! It's easy!
Martin: Listen, Tom. You don't have to make
the tea.
Tom: Oh, good.
Martin: You can get some from the cafe.
Tom: Oh. OK. See you later.
(Tom goes towards the door.)
Jerry: Wait a minute!
Tom: What?
Jane: You don't know what we want yet.
Tom: Oh, yes. Sorry. What do you all
want? Sara?
Sara: I'd like a cup of tea - with no milk
and no sugar.
Tom: One tea - no milk, no sugar. Jane?
Jane: I'd like a cup of tea - with lots of milk
and no sugar.
Tom: Lots of milk - no tea Right.
Jane: No sugar!
Tom: No sugar. Right. Jerry?
Jerry: I'd like a lemon tea and a big cream
cake.
SKETCHES
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The King of Boonland
King: Yes, here we are. Now, this is a map
of the world.
Guard: Yes.
King: And Boonland is here.
Guard: That is the Atlantic Ocean.
King: Yes - and Boonland is in the middle.
Guard: What? In the middle of the Atlantic?
King: Yes.
Guard: I don't believe you.
King: Eh?
Guard: I think you are trying to get into
Buckingham Palace.
King: That's right. I am.
Guard: Well, you can't.
King: Yes, I can. Wait a minute - I can
prove I'm the King of Boonland.
Look!
Guard: It's a five-pound note.
King: No, it's not five pounds.
Guard: Isn't it?
King: No, it's five boonos.
Guard: Five boonos?
King: Yes.
(The guard looks at the note.)
Guard: Oh, yes! Five boonos. So this is the
money you use in Boonland.
King: Yes, it is.
Guard: How many boonos are there in a
pound?
King: Half a million.
Guard: Half a million?
King: Yes, and there are one hundred
boonitos in a boono.
Guard: Now, listen to me -
King: Ah! I can prove I'm the King of
Boonland. There's a picture of me on
the one-boonito coin. Um...Have you
got change for ten boonitos?
Guard: No, I haven't!
King: Oh. It's all right. Look - one boonito
coin, with a picture of me on it.
Guard: Oh, yes. A picture of you. (The King
nods.)
Guard: Tell me - why do you want to go into
the Palace?
King: I am here to bring the Queen the
good wishes of the people of
Boonland.
Guard: The good wishes of the people of
Boonland?
King: Yes.
Guard: How many people are there in
Boonland?
King: Well, there's me, and my mother,
and -
Guard: No, No! All together! What's the
population of Boonland?
Scene: In front of Buckingham Palace
Characters: A guard, a sergeant, the King
of Boonland
The guard and the sergeant march to the
sentry-box.
Sergeant: Quick march! Left, right, left,
right, left, right, left, right!
Halt!... Right turn!. Bradshaw!
Guard: Sir!
Sergeant: You are guarding Buckingham
Palace.
Guard: Yes, sir!
Sergeant: Don't forget!
Guard: No, sir!
(The sergeant leaves. The guard
stands silently. The King of Boonland
comes up to the guard.)
King: Good morning...Hello!...Nice day,
isn't it?...Do you speak English?...
Sprechen Sie espanol?.I think he's
deaf. Oh, well...
(The King starts to go into the
Palace.)
Guard: Oh
King: Oh! He can talk!
Guard: Where are you going?
King: I'm going into Buckingham Palace.
Guard: Stand there!
King: I don't want to stand there. I want to
go in there.
Guard: Stand there!!
King: Oh, all right,
Guard: Who do you think you are?
King: I'm Fred, King of Boonland.
Guard: Well, listen to me, Fred King -
King: No, no, my name isn't Fred King. I
am King Fred.
Guard: Are you trying to tell me that you
are a real king?
King: Yes. I am the King of Boonland
Guard: Boonland?
King: Yes
Guard: And where exactly is Boonland?
King: Huh! You don't know where
Boonland is?
Guard: No.
King: Oh. OK, look at my map...
(The King finds his map.)
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