Gardner Dozois - Disciples.pdf - Gardner Dozois - widez2

Disciples

Gardner Dozois

1was roaming the post-midnight halls of a science fiction convention hotel not long ago, trying to find a

party still functional, when I heard great waves of laughter filtering through a locked door. I knocked and

was informed that I had stumbled on the "bad joke" party; to gain admission you had to tell a joke bad

enough to elicit universal groans.1 did dredge one out of childhood memories, and entered to find-of

course-Gardner Dozois , the party's perpetrator, surrounded by dozens of adoring science fiction fans.

The party turned out to be one of the most entertaining timesI've ever had, because although the rest of

us did tell a joke now and then, it was mainly The Gardner Dozois Show, tale after hilarious tale emerging

from the shaggy heap enthroned in the corner.

Gardneris a natural-born storyteller, with great gifts of gesture, accent,timing . He can hypnotize a

crowd in .seconds and keep them laughing forhours .But the aforementioned Buchwald Paradox is very

much at work here:Gardner 's writing is anything but jolly: his work is predominantly concerned with the

dark face of life, with tragedy and pathos. His writing is a

uniquebrand of gritty naturalism, done with terrible accuracy but also compassion and grace. As witness

this tale of Nicky the Horse.

Nicky the Horse was a thin, weasely -looking man with long, dirty black hair that hung down either side

of his face in greasy ropes, like inkmarks against the pallor of his skin. He was clean-shaven and

hollow-cheeked, and had a thin but rubbery lower lip upon which hissmall yellowed teeth were forever

biting, seizing the lip suddenly and worrying it, like a terrier seizing a rat. He wore a grimy purple sweater

under a torn tan jacket enough sizes too small to look like something an organ grinder's monkey might

wear, one pocket torn nearly off and both elbows wornthrough . Thrift-store jeans and a ratty pair of

sneakershe'd once found in a garbage can behind the YMCA completed his wardrobe.No underwear. A

crucifix gleamed around his neck, stainless steel coated to look like silver.Track marks, fading now, ran

down both his arms, across his stomach, down his thighs, but he'd been off the junk for months; he was

down to an occasional Red Devil, supplemented by the nightly quart of cheap chianti he consumed as he

lay in the dark on his bare mattress at the Lord house, a third-floor loft in a converted industrial

warehouse squeezed between a package store and a Rite-Aid.

He had just scavenged some two-day-old doughnuts from a pile of boxes behind a doughnut store

on Broad Street, and bought a paper container of coffee from a Greek delicatessen where the

Page 1

counterman (another aging hippie, faded flower tattos still visible under the bristly black hair on his arms)

usually knocked a nickel or two off the price for old times' sake.Now he was sitting on the white marble

steps of an old brownstone row house, eating his breakfast. His breath steamed in the chill morning air.

Even sitting still, he was in constant motion: his fingers drumming, his feet shuffling, his eyes flicking

nervously back and forth as one thing or another-a car, some

windblowntrash, pigeons taking to the air-arrested and briefly held his attention; at such times his

shoulders would momentarily hunch, as if he expected something to leap out at him.

Across the street, a work crew was renovating another old brownstone, swarming over the building's

partially stripped skeleton like carrion beetles; sometimes a cloud of plaster powder and brick dust

would puff from the building's broken doorway, like foul air from a dying mouth.Winos and pimps and

whores congregated on the corner, outside a flophouse hotel, their voices coming to Nicky thin and shrill

over the rumbling and farting of traffic. Occasionally a group of med students would go by, or a girl with

a dog.or a couple of Society Hill faggots in designer jeans and expensive turtlenecks, and Nicky would

call out "Jesus loves you, man," usually to no more response than a nervous sideways glance. One faggot

smirked knowingly at him, and a collegiate-jock type got a laugh out of hisbuddies by shouting back

"You bet your ass he does, honey." A small, intense-looking woman with short-cropped hair gave him

the finger. Another diesel dyke, Nicky thought resignedly. "Jesus loves you, man," he called after her, but

shedidn't look back.

When his butt began to feel as if it had turned to stone, he got up from the cold stoop and started

walking again, pausing only long enough to put a flyer for the Lordhouse on a lamppost, next to a sticker

that said EAT THE RICH. He walked on, past a disco, a gay bookstore, a go-go bar, a boarded-up

storefront with a sign that read LIVE NUDE MODELS, a pizza stand, slanting south and east now,

through a trash-littered concrete park full of sleeping derelicts and arrogantly struttingpigeons-stopping

now and then to panhandle and pass out leaflets, drifting on again.

He'dbeen up to Reading Terminal early that morning, hoping to catch the shoppers who came in from

the suburbs on commuter trains, but the Hairy Krishnaites had been there already, out in force in front of

the station, and he didn't like

tocompete with other panhandlers, particularly fucking groups of them with fucking bongos. The

Krishnaites made him nervous anyway-with their razor-shaved pates and their air of panting, puppyish

eagerness, they always reminded him of ROTC second lieutenants, fresh out of basic training. Once, in

front of the Bellevue-Stratford,he'd seen a fight between a Krishnaite and a Moonie, the two of them

arguing louder and louder, toe to toe, until suddenly they were beating each other over the head with

thick packets of devotional literature, the leaflets swirling loose around them like flocks of startled birds.

He'd had to grin at that one, but some of the panhandling groups were mean, particularly the political

groups, particularly the niggers.They'd kick your ass up between your shoulder blades if they caught you

poaching on their turf; they'd have your balls for garters.

No. you scored better if you worked alone.Always alone.

He ended up onSouth Street , down toward theTwo Street end, taking up a position between the

Laundromat and the plant store. It was much too early for the trendy people to be out, the "artists," the

night people, but theyweren't such hot prospects anyway. It was Saturday, and that meant there were

tourists out, in spite of the early hour, in spite of the fact that it had been threatening to snow all day; it

was cold. yes, but not as cold as it had been the rest of the week, the sun was peeking sporadically out

Page 2

from behind banks of dirty gray clouds, and maybe this would be the only halfway decent day left before

winter really set in.No, they were here all right, the tourists, strolling up and down through this hick

Greenwich Village, peering into the quaint little stores, the boutiques, the head shops full of tourist-trap

junk, the artsy bookstores, staring at the resident freaks as though they were on display at the zoo,

relishing the occasional dangerous whiff of illicit smoke in the air, the loud blare of music that they

wouldn't have tolerated for a moment at home.

Of course, hewasn't the only one feeding on this rich stream of marks: there was a juggler outside of

the steak-

sandwich shop in the next block, a small jazz band-a xylophone, a bass, and an electric piano-in front of

the Communist coffeehouse across the street, and, next to the upholsterer's, a fat man in a fur-lined parka

who was tonelessly chanting "incense sticks check it out one dollar incense sticks check it out one dollar"

without break or intonation. Such competition Nicky could deal with; in fact, he was contemptuous of it.

"Do you have your house in order?" he said in a conversational but carrying voice, starting his own

spiel, pushing leaflets at a businessman who ignored him, at a strolling young married couple who smiled

but shook their heads, at a middle-aged housewife in clogs and a polka-dot kerchief, who took a flyer

reflexively and then, a few paces away, stopped to peek at it surreptitiously."Did you know the Lord is

coming, man? The Lord is coming. Spare some change for the Lord's work?" This last remark shot at the

housewife , who looked uneasily around and then suddenly thrust a quarter at him. She hurried away,

clutching her Lordhouse flyer to her chestas if it were a baby the gypsies were after .

Panhandling was an art, man, an art-and so, of course, of course, was the more important task of

spreading the Lord's word. That was what really counted.Of course. Nevertheless, he brought more

fucking change into the Lordhouse than any of the other converts who were out pounding the pavement

every day, fucking-A, you better believe it.He'd always been a good panhandler, even before he'd seen

the light, and what did it was making maximum use of your time. Knowing who to ask and who not to

waste time on was the secret. College students, professional people, and young white malebusinessmen

made the best marks-later, when the businessmen had aged into senior executives, the chances of their

coming across went way down. Touristy types were good, straight suburbanites in the twenty-five-to-fifty

age bracket, particularly a man out strolling with his wife. A man walking by himself was much more

likely to give you something than a manwalking

incompany with another man-faggots were sometimes an exception here. Conversely, women in

pairs-especially prosperous hausfraus, although groups of teenage girls were pretty good too-were much

more likely to give you change than were women walking by themselves; the housewife of a moment

before had been an exception, but she had all the earmarks of someone who was just religious enough to

feel guilty about not being more so. Brisk woman-executive types almost never gave you anything, or

even took a leaflet.Servicemen in uniform were easy touches. Old people never gave you diddly -shit,

except sometimes a well-heeled little old whitelady would, especially a W.H.L.O.W.L. who had religion

herself, although they could also be more trouble than their money was worth. There were a lot of

punkers in this neighborhood , with their fifties crewcuts and greasy motorcycle jackets, but Nicky

usually left them alone; the punks were more violent and less gullible than the hippies had been back in

the late sixties, the Golden Age of Panhandling.The few remaining hippies-and the college kids who

passed for hippies these days-came across often enough that Nicky made a point of hitting on them,

although he gritted his teeth each time he did; they were by far the most likely to be wise assesonce he'd

told one, "Jesus is coming to our town," and the kid had replied, "I hope he's got a reservation, then-the

hotels are booked solid."Wiseasses.Those were also the types who would occasionally quote Scripture

Page 3

to him, coming up with some goddamn verse or other to refute anything he said. That made him uneasy.

Nicky had never really actually read the Bible that much, althoughhe'd meant to; he had the knowledge

intuitively, because the Spirit was in him. At that, the hippie wiseasses were easier to take than the Puerto

Ricans, who would pretend theydidn't understand what he wanted and give him only tight bursts of

superfast Spanish. The Vietnamese, now, being seen on the street with increasing frequency these days,

the Vietnamese quite often did give something, perhaps because they felt that they were required

to. Nickywasn't terribly fond of Jews, either, but it was amazing how often they'd come across, even for

a pitch about Jesus-all that guilt they imbibed with their mother's milk, he guessed. On the other hand, he

mostly stayed clear of niggers; sometimes you could score off a middle-aged tom in a business suit or

some grayingworkman , but the young street dudes were impossible, and there was always the chance

that some coked-up young stud would turn mean on you and maybe pull a knife. Occasionally you could

get money out of a member of that endless, seemingly cloned legion of short, fat, cone-shaped black

women, but that had its special dangers too, particularly if they turned out to be devout Baptists, or

snake-handlers, or whatever the fuck they were; one woman had screamed at him, "Don't talk to me

about Jesus!Don't talk to me about Jesus! Don't talk to me about Jesus!" Thenshe'd hit him with her

purse.

"The Last Days are at hand!" Nicky called. "The Last Days are coming, man. The Lord is coming to

our town, and the wickedwill be left behind, man. The Lord is coming." Nicky shoved a leaflet into

someone's hand andthe someone shoved it right back. Nicky shrugged. "Come to the Lordhouse tonight,

brothers and sisters! Come and get your soul together." Someone paused, hesitated, took a leaflet.

"Spare change?Spare change for the Lord's work? Every penny does the Lord's work . . . ."

The morning passed, and it grew colder. About half of Nicky's leaflets were gone, although many of

them littered the sidewalk a few paces away, where people had discarded them once they thought that

they were far enough from Nicky not to be noticed doing so. The sun had been swallowed by clouds,

and onceagain it looked like it was going to snow, although once again it did not. Nicky's coat was too

small to button, but he turned his collar up and put his hands in his pockets. The stream of tourists had

pretty much run dry for the moment, and he was just thinking about getting some lunch, about going

down to the hotdog stand on the corner

where the black dudes stood jiving and handslapping , their giant radios blaring on their shoulders, he

was just thinking about it when, at that very moment, as though conjured up by the thought, Saul

Edelmann stepped out of the stand and walked briskly toward him.

"Shit in my hat," Nicky muttered to himself.He'd collected more than enough to buy lunch, but,

because of the cold, not that much more.And Father Delardi , the unfrocked priest-the unfairly unfrocked

priest-who had founded their order and who ran it with both love and, yessir , an iron handFather Delardi

didn't like it when they came in off the streets at the end of the day with less than a certain amount of

dough.Nicky had been hoping that he could con Saul into giving him a free hotdog, as he sometimes

could, as Saul sometimes had, and now here was Saul himself, off on some dumbshit errand, bopping

down the street as fat and happy as a clam (although how happy were clams anyway, come to think

about it?), which meant that he, Nicky, was fucked.

"Nicky! My main man!" said Saul, who prided himself on an ability to speak jivey street patois that

he definitely did not possess. He was a plump-cheeked man with modish length gray -streaked hair,

cheap black plastic-framed glasses, and a neatly trimmed mustache . Jews were supposed to have big

noses, or so Nicky had always heard, but Saul's nose was small and upturned, as if there were an

Page 4

Irishman in the woodpile somewhere.

"Hey, man,"Nicky mumbled listlessly. Bad enough that hewasn't going to get his free hotdog-now

he'd have to make friendly small talk with this dipshit in order to protect his investment in free hotdogs yet

to come. Nicky sighed and unlimbered his shit-eating grin. "Hey, man! How you been, Saul? What's

happenin ', man?"

"What's happening?" Saul said jovially, responding to Nicky as if he were really asking a question

instead of emitting ritual noise. "Now how can I even begin to tell you what's happening, Nicky?" He was

radiant today, Saul was, full of

bouncyenergy, rocking back and forth as he talked, unable to stand still, smiling a smile that revealed

teeth some Yiddish momma had sunk a lot of dough into over the years. "I'm glad you came by today,

though. I wanted to be sure to say goodbye if I could."

"Good-bye?"

Saul's smile became broader and broader."Yes, goodbye! This is it, boychick .I'm off! You won't

see me again after today."

Nicky peered at him suspiciously. "You goin 'away?"

"You bet your ass I am, kid," Saul said, and then laughed. "Today I turned my half of the business

over to Carlos, signed all the papers,took care of everything nice and legal. And now I'm free and clear,

free as a damn bird, kid."

"You sold your half of the stand to Carlos?"

"Not sold, boychick -gave. I gave it to him. Not one red cent did I take."

Nicky gaped at him. "You gave your business away, man?"

Saul beamed. "Kid-I gave everything away. The car: I gave that to old Ben Miller, who washes

dishes at the Green Onion. I gave up the lease on my apartment, gave away my furniture,gave away my

savings-if you'd've been here yesterday, Nicky, I would've given you something too."

"Shit!" Nicky said harshly. "You go crazy, man, or what?" He choked back an outburst of bitter

profanity.Missed out again!Screwed out of getting his yet again!

"I don't need any of that stuff anymore, Nicky," Saul said. He tapped the side of his nose, smiled.

"Nicky-He's come."

"Who?"

"The Messiah.He'scome!He's finally come! Today's the day the Messiah comes, after all those

thousands of yearsthink of it, Nicky!"

Nicky's eyes narrowed. "What the fuck you talkin ' about, man?"

"Don't you ever read the paper, Nicky, or listen to the

Page 5

Gardner Dozois - Disciples.pdf

Plik z chomika:

Inne pliki z tego folderu:

Inne foldery tego chomika: