SeeRightThroughSaraWinters.pdf

See Right Through

Cover photo copyright Csiger | Dreamstime.com

Dev stared at Sammy over the table, his dark eyes narrowed to slits. The tip of his tongue darted out

to moisten his lips before he pressed them into a thin line, his concentration on the chess board between

them. It would work this time, as it always had. Sam was as easy to read as the play book he left laying

around the house. With chess, one always had to think three steps ahead. Sam Marshall, though smart,

could rarely see the bigger picture. That's what made him an easy mark. It's what made him swear off

playing poker with his friends. And that's why Devin Salvo had smiled when he'd made his last move,

confident this game would end in yet another win for himself.

Sammy drummed his fingers next to the board. The battered card table shook slightly. “You're only

stalling the inevitable,” he said. “I'm going to beat you.”

He paused and Dev watched the telltale dart of his eyes to one side before Sammy returned the

steady gaze.

“Seriously, it's long past time for lunch,” Sammy continued. The babbling was another giveaway.

Dev had this in the bag. “I'd like to get something to eat before I pass out.”

“If you talked less and paid more attention, you'd win more often.” Dev's smug, satisfied smile

inspired a frown from Sammy and he glanced down at the board again before returning his gaze to Dev,

a hint of doubt now creeping into the hazel eyes.

“I've won plenty of times,” Sam countered.

Jumpy. Defensive. The final chink in whatever bravado had convinced him he had a chance of

winning this one. All that remained was for Devin to deliver the final blow.

“Not against me, you haven't.” Dev flashed a small smile. Nothing that Devin counted, anyway.

“I've beaten you twice.”

Out of hundreds of games in the two years they'd known each other. Sammy had played no less

than three games a week with Devin, the only person he'd met that he couldn't beat with any regularity.

Michael found the frequent beatings a source of entertainment. Devin got a personal thrill out of

beating the only person he knew who'd been on a champion chess team in high school rather than an

athlete like the rest of his friends. Of course, that didn't matter when your opponent could have you

second-guessing your moves from the first touch of a pawn.

Dev leaned back in the folding chair, stretching his legs out beneath the rickety table. The toe of his

shoe brushed against Sammy's. “You only beat me because I was sick. I was on enough medication a

fifth grader could've won against me.”

“Only the first time,” Sammy said.

“And I was distracted the second time,” Dev said.

Sam chuckled. The smile brought out a small dimple to the right side of his mouth. “Right. What

distracted you?”

Dev looked up and smiled. “Michael.”

“Figures. He—”

Dev cleared his throat and nodded at a point over Sammy's shoulder. “Hey, Mike. What's going

on?”

Their roommate closed the front door with his foot and nodded to the pair sitting in front of the

window. If Michael's late parents were still there, they would've flipped over their son closing the door

with his foot, possibly leaving a huge footprint in his wake. In spite of momentary lapses like that,

Michael had kept his family's home nearly the same in the two years since they'd passed. The front

room was still filled with pictures of Evan and Linda Russ and their only child, with a few sprinkled in

of Michael with his best friend Devin. Mrs. Russ's comfortable sofa and chairs and were still in top

shape, the deep green and gold upholstery complimented by shining hardwood floors and gauzy white

curtains over the large windows. Even the glass-topped tables had remained damage free. Michael

liberally decorated the top with coasters so there were no excuses. The only addition since his parents

had died was the rickety folding table Devin and Sammy used to play chess, partly for the additional

height the coffee table didn't give them, partly so they could look out the window into the garden as

they played, though Devin rarely allowed himself to get distracted.

Michael lifted two large pizzas in one hand. “Grabbed lunch. You guys hungry?”

Dev nodded, never taking his eyes off Michael. With six foot three inches of solid muscle and a

smile that put the sun to shame, it wasn't difficult for anyone to figure out why his best friend was an

occasional distraction. Whenever he walked into a room, Dev had trouble remembering his own name,

never mind the best way to protect his queen from Sam's watchful gaze. All the attention was pointless,

though. It didn't matter how many pointed looks he gave or the not-so-subtle flirting he did, he couldn't

change the fact that Michael was straight. That didn't stop him from wishing for a sudden change of

heart.

“Always. Just let us finish this game,” Sam said, drawing Dev's attention back to him and their

game.

“Do you know if Lee's home?” Michael asked. “I was hoping we could play a pick up game after

lunch.”

“He's not,” Sam said.

“We can still do that,” Dev said, his attention once again diverted. A chance to get Michael into

some shorts and an excuse to tackle him repeatedly? Count him in.

“Granted, we've played rugby with four of us, but I don't think even we could pull off a three

person game. One on one with a referee?” Michael asked.

“Two against one sounds better,” Sam suggested. He grinned, his expression turning lecherous as

he eyed their roommate. Michael blushed and backed away a step, pizza held in front of him like a

shield.

“I don't think two against one would be quite fair,” he said.

“I think you're big enough to handle both of us,” Dev put in. “I'd certainly be willing to give it a

shot.”

“We promise it won't hurt,” Sam said.

“Speak for yourself,” Dev added. He licked his lips.

Michael opened his mouth to speak before shutting it quickly and shaking his head. “You're

impossible. Finish your game.”

Barely glancing at the board, Dev moved his knight into position and plucked Sam's bishop out of

play. “Checkmate.” Smiling as Sam spluttered and stared at the board, Dev got up and followed Mike

into the kitchen. As he approached, Michael closed the refrigerator door with his foot, bottles of water

in each hand.

“You really don't have to take us both on,” Dev said, smiling as this earned another blush from his

roommate. “I'll be happy to play with you alone.”

“I'm sure you would,” Michael said, placing the bottles on the table. “I don't think Jessica would

appreciate the competition, though.”

Dev's smile widened. “Who said your girlfriend has to know? I bet there's a lot of things you don't

tell her.” Devin walked across the kitchen, until he was close enough to reach out and trace the line of

stubble on Michael's jaw. “You know I can keep a secret,” he said, voice low. “I can do a lot of things

you'd like.” He stared at Michael a long moment, hoping to unnerve him as easily as he did Sam.

After a few seconds, Michael leaned down and whispered back, “Not even close. Good try,

though.” He turned to grab paper plates from a cabinet.

“You can't blame him for trying,” Sammy said from the doorway. “You're not exactly beating him

off.”

“Ooh, that sounds like a plan,” Dev said.

Michael rolled his eyes. He placed the plates on the island in the center of the kitchen and pulled

out a stool to sit on. “Stop,” he said to Dev. Turning to Sam, he added, “You guys are my friends. I

don't care if you get a kick out of saying whatever you want when no one else can hear—”

“He likes the attention and is too afraid to admit he's turned on,” Dev said to Sam. Sam nodded and

grabbed a plate.

“But,” Michael spoke louder to return their attention to what he was saying. “You both know you

don't have the smallest chance with me.”

“You don't have to say anything in front of Sam,” Dev began. “I know I'm wearing you down.”

Sam sat on one of the stools tucked under the island and opened the top box of pizza. “Mike, it's all

right. If Dev wants his delusions for comfort at night, he can have them. I'll be here when you're ready.”

Mike handed around the bottles of water and reached for the other pizza box. “If you're both so

hard up for someone, why don't you just skip the middle man and date each other? I think you'd be

good together.”

“Just because we're both gay doesn't mean we're automatically attracted to each other,” Dev said,

grabbing a slice of pizza from the box in front of Sammy.

“I didn't say you were,” Michael said. “You just—”

“Plus, Devin can't handle a man like me,” Sammy said around a mouthful of pizza. “He gets off on

going after men who he knows he can't or shouldn't have.”

Devin frowned, his eyebrows drawing together. “Is that your professional opinion?”

“Did he ever tell you,” Sam continued, “the last guy he was with had a girlfriend?”

He'd also had serious questions about his sexuality that a weekend at a local hotel with Devin

answered for him. And Sammy was wrong. It wasn't that he purposely went after men he shouldn't be

with, it just happened that Devin always found himself attracted to men he knew wouldn't want more

than he was willing to give—a commitment.

With Michael it was different. He was a good friend, and had been since before Devin came out to

him that night in 8 th grade. The idea of being with him had always felt as natural as breathing. They'd

been joined at the hip since they were ten, and it was partly due to his attraction to Michael that Devin

learned to recognize and accept his sexuality.

As for Mike's suggestion that he try Sammy instead, that was laughable. Where he and Mike were

loud and outgoing, Sammy was quiet and reserved, preferring to stick his nose in a book than go out

dancing on Friday night. It was a wonder they'd managed to talk him into joining the Savannah

Lightning rugby team. The weekly practices and games were the only time Sam seemed to come out of

his shell. Dev rarely saw a different side to him than the nerd who preferred to remain in the shadows.

With Michael as Dev's ongoing fantasy, Sam couldn't compete.

“I thought you said Jack was going through something,” Mike said, turning to Devin. “I didn't think

you meant he was looking to play around. Or was he?”

“It wasn't like that,” Dev said. “I didn't go after him, or try to seduce him. He came on to me and I

just kind of conveniently didn't say no.” Dev shrugged. “We both knew the thing was going to be

temporary anyway, so that isn't relevant.” He looked up from his food and smiled. “The point is, you've

always been the center of my attention and you know it. And if we're being honest, a healthy

bicuriosity is the reason we shared our first kiss. You just need to take the next step.”

Dev grinned as both Michael and Sammy choked on their food at the same time. Mike grabbed for

his water bottle and took several long gulps before lowering it to stare at his best friend, his dark brown

eyes wide with horror.

Sam swallowed hard and looked back and forth between them. “Is that true or did you just make it

up?”

“I wouldn't lie about that,” Dev said, never taking his eyes away from Michael. “You know what it

meant to me.”

“You knew for sure that night,” Michael said, nodding. Moments later, he looked away. “And as

much as I care about you, I knew for sure that I—we would never be that way.” He looked up again, a

small smile formed. “Don't let the memory of that little experiment keep you from going after what's

right in front of you.”

Devin picked up the slice of pizza he'd barely touched since they'd sat down. “Oh, don't worry

about that. I've got my eye on the prize. It's just a matter of getting it to come to me.”

****

Pulling the front door closed behind himself, Sammy jogged down the front steps and fell into step

behind Mike and Devin, close enough to catch snatches of their conversation, but far enough away that

they were sure to leave him to his thoughts. Thoughts which, given the strange lunch conversation from

the day before, were filled with the insults tossed his way by his roommate.

Okay, so maybe he didn't come right out and insult Sam, but the face Devin made when Mike had

said they might be good together wasn't exactly flattering. Devin's reaction had been nothing like the

salacious thoughts Sam had when Michael made the suggestion. It wasn't as if they didn't have things

in common. Besides working well together with the rugby team and their shared love of chess, Devin

had a way of appealing to Sam's sense of humor that often had him laughing manically at the smallest

joke. And Sam just got him, read Devin as well as any book when he thought he was being clever or

hiding what he didn't want others to see. Devin had a soft heart and a great body and a way of bringing

a smile to Sam's face just by teasing him or trying to bring him into the action. Being his friend was

sometimes like being caught up in a whirlwind, one that usually left Sam feeling flustered and winded.

Of course, that could be put down to feelings he'd rather not put a name to, but Sam wouldn't dwell on

that. The sad fact was, Dev acted like the idea of anything more intimate than beating Sam at chess

three times a week would be punishment.

Would it? Devin could be pushy and loud and aggravating—all the frustrating things that

sometimes made him a less than ideal roommate. And there were definite drawbacks to beginning an

intimate relationship with a roommate, especially with another person in the house. Lack of privacy, a

shift in expectations for intimacy, not to mention what would happen if it all fell apart. Not that any of

this mattered. The entire possibility was rendered moot because Devin couldn't see it happening.

This is wrong , Sammy thought. Allowing myself to feel this way again because Devin doesn't want

me. Dr. Willis would call it a textbook case of reverse psychology. Sam thought he'd gotten over the

crush a while ago, but as soon as Dev implied he didn't find Sam attractive, those old feelings of

inadequacy made him want to prove to Devin that he was worth wanting. Which was childish. Silly.

Not worth either of their time to prove something that Devin didn't care to know and Sammy knew

wouldn't change anything. It was the principle of it.

Well, fuck principles. Proving the point could only get Sam in trouble of the sort he didn't need.

The problem was, now, the idea had been planted. Nothing he'd said or done before had gotten Dev

to notice him that way, but that didn't mean it couldn't be done. After all, Sam hadn't tried the direct

approach. That could end well or...it could end with him questioning how he'd developed anything as

hopeless as a crush on someone who'd put him firmly in the platonic friend category. As much as he

knew it was a bad idea, Sam was sure a large part of him had accepted the challenge. He only hoped the

sane part of him could intervene before he did something he couldn't take back.

Michael glanced over his shoulder and waved Sam up with one arm, shifting his gym bag higher on

his shoulder. “It's okay if you actually walk with us to practice, you know.”

Sam smiled and walked a little faster, closing the distance quickly. “I figured Dev needed some

private time with you, so he can seal the deal.”

“Uh no,” Mike said. As Sam got closer, Michael grabbed him by the elbow and jerked him forward,

until he walked between them, the three of them blocking the sidewalk. “I think this is a good time for

the two of you to get to know each other.”

“You can't be serious,” Devin said. “We've been sharing a house for two years. We know each other

well enough.”

“I mean something a little deeper. Sam only knows that you leave your stinky socks in the

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