How.I.Met.Your.Mother.S04E11.HDTV.XviD-LOL.en.txt

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{33}{64}Hey, guys. Hey.
{68}{108}It's freezing out there.|Where's your coat?
{112}{163}Ted, I'm canadian. I don't need a coat.
{167}{200}This kind of weather is nothing for me.
{204}{255}Yeah. This is like a spring|day back in minnesota,
{259}{282}If it weren't for all the taxis
{286}{339}And the skyscrapers|and non-white people.
{343}{378}There aren't any black|people in minnesota?
{382}{418}Not if prince is on tour.
{746}{813}Well, my sister's plane|got in an hour ago,
{817}{855}Or as a meteorologist might say,
{859}{916}Hurricane heather has|just made landfall.
{920}{960}Come on. She's not that bad.
{964}{1012}Here's the back of|heather's baseball card.
{1016}{1038}It took her six years
{1042}{1076}To graduate from three|different colleges,
{1080}{1125}During which time she wrecked two cars,
{1129}{1167}Got married for five days,
{1171}{1209}And lived in a tree for nine weeks,
{1213}{1255}Only to realize that no|one had any intention
{1259}{1291}Of cutting it down.
{1300}{1328}And now, heather says
{1332}{1357}She's moving to new york.
{1361}{1399}Wow, that's big news.
{1403}{1428}She's never gonna go through with it.
{1432}{1474}Remember a few years back when|she talked about transferring
{1478}{1513}To nyu? And then,
{1517}{1567}On the day of the|admissions interview...
{1571}{1594}Heather?
{1598}{1670}Where's my couch and my tv?
{1684}{1708}I sold them
{1712}{1779}For nine inch nails tickets.
{1783}{1830}The tv alone is worth two grand.
{1834}{1920}Well, a last-minute plane|ticket is expensive.
{1929}{1958}Wait. Where are you?
{1962}{2009}Somewhere in spain.
{2025}{2092}Oh! Gotta go. Slow song.
{2179}{2209}Oh, crap.
{2213}{2233}It's barney.
{2237}{2251}So?
{2255}{2313}For all the years heather's|been visiting new york,
{2317}{2355}Ted's never let barney meet her.
{2359}{2386}And I never will.
{2390}{2474}Every year when the mosby family|christmas card shows up...
{2491}{2542}Pulling down her pants
{2546}{2593}Yanking off my own
{2597}{2647}Underneath the mistletoe
{2651}{2688}I'll make your sister moan
{2692}{2738}Oh! Heather's hot, Heather's hot
{2742}{2777}And we'll go all the way...
{2781}{2885}I wish I could see her naked
{2886}{2935}I wish I could see her naked
{2939}{3003}And down on all fours.
{3022}{3060}Ted has a little sister
{3064}{3097}Gets hotter every day
{3101}{3169}And if I ever meet her with|her boobies I will play!
{3173}{3239}Everybody! Sister, sister, sister!
{3252}{3303}What? I can celebrate hanukkah, too.
{3344}{3369}Oh, it's him again.
{3373}{3408}I should probably get it.
{3413}{3430}Hey, barney.
{3434}{3470}Hey. What's on tap for tonight?
{3474}{3514}Oh, we're heading over|to marshall and lily's
{3518}{3552}For a kathy bates movie marathon,
{3556}{3577}But not misery.
{3581}{3609}You wanna join us...?
{3617}{3667}Oh. He hung up.
{3777}{3842}Hey. Oh, it's great to see you.
{3846}{3886}Hey, kiddo. You look great.
{3890}{3917}How are things back home?
{3921}{3967}Well, I moved into your old room.
{3971}{3993}Did you know that you can see
{3997}{4053}Strange mrs. Gottwald's|bedroom across the street?
{4057}{4079}Oh, yes.
{4083}{4115}I am aware of that.
{4119}{4140}How's she looking?
{4144}{4172}Ted, she's 62.
{4176}{4213}Answer the question.
{4217}{4256}Surprisingly perky.
{4297}{4346}Man, it is cold out there.
{4350}{4405}Why, hello.
{4445}{4512}I've been waiting for you.
{4520}{4564}Wait a second. That's not our chair.
{4568}{4618}Did you bring that chair yourself?
{4622}{4665}I needed one that swivels.
{4738}{4777}Heather mosby...
{4810}{4869}Barney. Stinson.
{5018}{5101}Um... How did you even know|heather was coming into town?
{5126}{5162}Never tell me anything!
{5166}{5228}You know I can't keep|secrets around christmas!
{5232}{5282}Robin's giving you an ipod!
{5309}{5334}Ted, can I chat with you
{5338}{5377}For a sec in the kitchen?
{5396}{5456}No one touch the chair. It's a rental.
{5480}{5501}I can't believe you've been
{5505}{5553}Hiding your sister from|me all these years.
{5557}{5581}Do you blame me?
{5585}{5617}You're like weird al yankovic
{5621}{5682}If he only wrote christmas|songs about banging my sister.
{5724}{5802}Okay. First of all, I'm flattered.
{5809}{5860}Secondly, they're just jokes.
{5864}{5913}A bro can joke about|another bro's sister.
{5917}{5943}It doesn't mean I'm|ever gonna act on it.
{5947}{6017}Look, I love my sister,|and as her older brother,
{6022}{6087}It's my job to protect|her from guys like you.
{6092}{6120}You don't trust me, do you?
{6125}{6168}No. And I don't trust her either.
{6172}{6216}Fine. Great.
{6234}{6304}I guess I'll just...|Take my chair and go.
{6413}{6484}Wait... Stop... Come back...
{6513}{6572}Lily and I are taking heather|out for dinner on sunday.
{6576}{6594}Do you wanna come?
{6598}{6642}I already called hurley's|and added a fourth.
{6648}{6675}You really can't tell lily anything.
{6680}{6720}No, you can't tell her... Jeez.
{6728}{6752}That year, the holidays
{6756}{6802}Were really making aunt|robin miss canada,
{6806}{6844}So marshall brought|her to the spot he went
{6849}{6897}Whenever he got homesick
{6902}{6936}The walleye saloon.
{6941}{6963}Evening, everybody.
{6968}{7007}Marshall!
{7012}{7027}Meet robin.
{7032}{7058}Robin!
{7062}{7085}Go back to drinking.
{7090}{7134}Drinking!
{7139}{7158}What's up, marshall?
{7162}{7196}Hey, what's u...? Whoa! Bud!
{7200}{7235}What's with the hitch in your giddyap?
{7240}{7275}Oh, I was playing some hockey today.
{7280}{7304}Tore up something in my knee.
{7308}{7332}Did you go to the hospital?
{7337}{7366}Nah. I just poured some beer on it.
{7370}{7399}Can't miss the vikes game.
{7403}{7442}Twin cities!
{7446}{7482}Oh, yeah!
{7507}{7537}I love the guys here.
{7541}{7561}They're real men.
{7566}{7632}No hair products or manicures.
{7636}{7694}All new york guys are like 10% girl.
{7699}{7744}Come on. That seems a little unfair.
{7749}{7780}I'll have the vichyssoise
{7785}{7831}With just a soupon of crme frache.
{7835}{7885}Too much dairy and I tend to bloat.
{7915}{7992}So... I found an apartment today.
{7996}{8028}Really? Yeah.
{8033}{8062}And I was hoping you'd have
{8067}{8161}A little more wine in you|before I asked you this, but...
{8165}{8223}I need you to co-sign the lease.
{8280}{8315}Let me think about it.
{8329}{8394}That means he's not going to do it.
{8398}{8450}I could really use your help on this.
{8455}{8505}Let's talk about this later, okay?
{8509}{8558}Don't hold your breath.
{8562}{8594}What is it?
{8604}{8636}You don't trust me?
{8641}{8673}You're my sister.
{8678}{8742}Now he's just stating a fact.
{8747}{8841}Look, ted, I am serious about|a career in finance, but...
{8845}{8913}You just keep looking at me|like I'm a four-year-old
{8917}{8955}Who says she wants to be an astronaut.
{8960}{8995}I just don't think you have any idea
{9000}{9035}How tough it is to make it in new york.
{9040}{9094}Exactly. You need connections.
{9098}{9179}If only ted knew someone|who worked at, say...
{9184}{9220}Goliath national bank,
{9225}{9258}Then... Wait.
{9263}{9301}What?
{9315}{9372}I work at goliath national bank.
{9376}{9413}How 'bout that?
{9450}{9478}All right.
{9482}{9522}We got two bemidji pale ales
{9527}{9568}And... Who ordered the mini-burgers?
{9572}{9601}Me.
{9707}{9744}Is that fisherman's quest? Mm-hmm.
{9748}{9798}I used to play fq all|the time back home!
{9803}{9843}Oh, yeah? I kinda have high score.
{9847}{9875}Not to brag, but
{9880}{9920}I caught... Oh...
{9925}{9975}A 35-inch northern pike.
{9979}{10042}The biggest video fish|anyone's ever reeled in.
{10050}{10105}I mean... Freshwater.
{10125}{10195}A tip of the angler's cap, my friend.
{10200}{10244}Thank you for bringing me here.
{10268}{10309}Uh! Those are mine.
{10348}{10392}This is not a good idea.
{10396}{10461}Heather and barney alone in his office?
{10465}{10513}And I certainly don't want to|be on the hook for her lease.
{10517}{10588}She is growing up. You|just can't see it yet.
{10592}{10652}We're talking about a girl|who was busted for shoplifting
{10656}{10687}Eight months ago.
{10691}{10722}Ted, a lot of women
{10726}{10771}Go through a shoplifting phase.
{10775}{10842}And sure, maybe to this day, they swipe
{10846}{10905}The occasional smaller item|because it turns them on
{10909}{10972}In a weird way that they|can't quite explain.
{10987}{11006}But...
{11010}{11047}If it'll make you feel better,
{11051}{11100}I-i'll tag along to gnb tomorrow.
{11104}{11143}I'll say I'm having lunch with marshall,
{11147}{11221}But actually, I'll be|spying on her and barney.
{11225}{11256}Okay.
{11262}{11298}Okay, I'm good with that.
{11323}{11362}Heather! Heather...
{11366}{11403}Good luck tomorrow at gnb. I'm sure
{11407}{11466}You'll knock 'em dead. And|I'll be spying on you guys.
{11477}{11523}Damn it!
{11570}{11679}"i'm drinking till I forget|the 1999 nfc championship"?
{11683}{11713}That game.
{11719}{11732}The vikings
{11736}{11779}Were two minutes away from|going to the super bowl,
{11783}{11827}When our kicker, who|hadn't missed all year
{11831}{11896}Shanked a field goal,|and we lost in overtime.
{11900}{11929}Damn!
{11934}{11971}'99 nfc championship game?
{11975}{12016}Yeah. Damn!
{12040}{12102}My dad, who I'd never|seen cry my whole life,
{12106}{12143}Wiped away a tear.
{12154}{12184}He said...
{12190}{12250}"a little part of me just died, son."
{12301}{12361}I love how intense you guys|are about your vikings.
{12365}{12421}It's like when we watch|hockey night in canada...
{12478}{12501}What?
{12505}{12567}Don't let anyone in here know
{12571}{12617}That you're not from minnesota.
{12621}{12666}Why? What are they gonna do|if they find out I'm from...
{12699}{12739}Does this look like a|dallas bar to you, pal?
{12743}{12776}It's weird, but there's|something comforti...
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