How To Save a Life.pdf

Chapter 1

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Smile like you mean it

(Smile Like You Mean It – the Killers)

***

"Okay, so...you look entirely lost."

I whipped my head around to see who it was making this incredibly astute

observation, having to tilt it slightly downward in order to focus on the tiny girl

who'd been standing behind me. And I thought I was short. No way she was

clearing five foot. I immediately assumed she was an underclassman...her

appearance just gave off that young sort of vibe. Her dark hair, somewhere

between chestnut and black, was cut into an angled, chin-skimming bob, her

creamy skin was free from any trace of blemishes, and her grey eyes, flecked

with specks of gold, seemed to be laughing. But it was her outfit that primarily

made me question her age. She wore black ballet flats, clearly not interested in

boosting her height, low rise crimson cords that made me wonder how they were

hanging on to her nonexistent hips, and a tight white baby tee. Bearing the words

"Little Miss Sunshine" and a picture of the corresponding character, the smiling

yellow blob with the blonde pigtails tied with red bows. The girl who was now

awaiting a response had a friendly grin that matched the cartoon's on her shirt.

Little Miss Sunshine indeed - she seemed to radiate friendliness and helpfulness.

But I doubted she could help me. After my quick assessment, I pegged her as a

freshman. She was probably as lost as I was and just looking for someone to

commiserate with.

She continued to stare at me expectantly, expression steady, and I worked on

wiping the look of confusion off my face as I glanced helplessly around the

crowded halls of Forks High School. I finally nodded. "Yeah...yeah, I think I am.

Officially lost." I stabbed at the paper map, already soft and worn after only two

days, and shook my head. "See, this should be the room I'm looking for, but..." I

glanced around one more time, as if the numbers I'd been looking for for days

were magically going to appear, "none of the rooms are marked. I follow the

map, but then I get here, and have no idea if I'm going to walk into the right

room."

She rolled her eyes and smiled again. "I know, right? Stupendous system they've

got going on here. No numbers. Like they expect us to be psychic or something."

She tapped a bright red fingernail against her temple, three times.

I laughed quietly, and decided I liked her, even though it was unlikely that she

was in my grade and we'd actually spend any time together. That I actually may

have found a friend. "So, umm...do you happen to know if this is room 304?"

"I do," she said, nodding confidently. "I've spent a lot of time in room 304, and

that's where I'm heading too." She tilted her head in the direction of the

doorway. "Come on, let's go. Before all the big tables get snatched up."

I stood in place for a moment before remembering to follow her. Okay, so I was

wrong. Clearly, she knew her way around. Not a freshman. But a sophomore,

tops. No way this girl could be older than fifteen.

I followed her into the crowded art room, unsure if she'd actually extended an

invitation to join her at one of these apparently desirable "big" tables. I glanced

hesitantly around the room as I entered, taking in the misshapen ceramic busts

and the kind of lousy, dark self-portraits only adolescents could possibly produce.

If it were up to me, I never would have taken painting as an elective. But turns

out most other juniors had submitted their schedule requests last spring, and

newcomers were stuck in classes where there were openings. Like painting. I

assumed this was for a reason, that most juniors would indeed rather make

monkey bread in home ec or hammer away in wood shop or have an extra day of

flag football per cycle than do this. I agreed with them, but didn't put up too

much of a fuss. It could have been worse. I could have gotten stuck with an extra

gym rotation.

Little Miss Sunshine was still talking to me as she flung her bookbag onto one of

the high tables, so I followed her. My eyes were drawn to a tattered fuchsia

ribbon, bearing the words "T.D. - I Remember" in faded purple, the color

standing out sharply against the black nylon of her bag. "I'm Alice, by the way,"

she finally introduced herself. "You wanna sit here?"

Grateful for the clarification, I nodded and smiled at Alice. "Yeah...thanks." I

pulled up one of the stools and sat down on it, grimacing as I noticed it wasn't

entirely steady and I teetered a bit. "I'm Bella. Swan. I just started here this

year."

Alice seemed to skip over my last sentence, a weird, slightly pained look marring

her features when I said my last name. "You're Chief Swan's daughter?" she

asked quietly.

Way to go, Bella, I thought. Guess it's not the coolest thing in the world to

announce that your dad's a cop. Surely the party invites would roll right in with

that little admission. I could practically feel the blush creeping into my cheeks,

and did my best to beat it back. There was no reason to blush at every little

thing. I lifted my chin and looked at her directly. "Yeah, I am."

Alice now shook her head, as if she were physically trying to shake the troubled

expression off of her face. "That's cool!" she now remarked, the strained

enthusiasm in her voice evident. "You know what? I heard you were moving here.

And you're, what? A junior? Senior?"

"Junior."

The forced elation was gone when she spoke again, as if a storm had passed by

quickly. "Me too!" she squealed. "So maybe we'll have some other classes

together."

I felt another blush warming up, and hoped she didn't press to see my schedule.

Maybe I should be proud of the fact that most of my coursework was of the

Senior A.P. variety, but in this moment, I wasn't. I liked this Alice person, and

was afraid that revealing myself as the Chief's daughter as well as resident dork

wasn't the greatest foundation for a friendship. I just nodded instead. "Yeah. That

would be cool. I haven't met very many people here, so..."

Alice rolled her eyes. "I'm sure. The joys of moving to a small town, where

everyone has known each other forever. Knows everything about you." Again I

caught the slightly troubled look drifting into her eyes, but she pressed her lips

together and was able to will it away as quickly as it had appeared. "But..." She

busied herself, reaching into a drawer beneath the table and pulling out an

assortment of brushes and testing them with her fingertips, clearly at home with

the utensils. "...there's a lot of really nice people here, too. Just give everyone a

few days to get caught up and talk about who got a terrible haircut and whose

boobs got bigger over the summer and who broke up and who got back together,

and then...then people might actually be friendly and talk to you. Pez?"

I accepted the tiny grape-flavored candy that she popped out of Nemo's head and

into my hand, laughing at her assessment, because she was right in many ways.

So far, I'd felt like no one had really noticed me. They all seemed so...busy...with

each other. I felt invisible, like Alice was the first person who had even seen me

in the hallways. "I hope so," I shrugged. "Otherwise, it's going to make for a

pretty lonely two years."

Alice smiled sympathetically. "Oh my gosh. I can't even imagining transferring

junior year. That must be hard." Then she bounced her head back and forth, and

Little Miss Sunshine seemed to bounce on her shirt along with her. "But you know

me now." She giggled. "And in case you didn't notice, well, I tend to talk a lot. So

your days of feeling lonely are officially numbered. In fact, by the end of class,

you may be begging me to shut up and leave you the hell alone."

Now I laughed loudly, probably the first real laugh I'd had since coming to Forks.

I felt almost giddy. I always got along best with girls like Alice, girls who were

comfortable doing most of the talking so that I was able to hang back and take it

all in, the way I preferred to do, without having to sit in awkward silence. I was

indeed hopeful that Alice would be a friend, because Forks High School seemed

like it would be a much more interesting and lively place by her side. So I gave

her a real smile. "I'm pretty sure it won't be like that, Alice." I glanced down at

my hands, feeling shy now. "It feels really nice to talk to someone."

Alice smiled one more time. "Cool," she replied simply, before returning her

attention to the canvasses and brushes and paints on the table before us.

I saw Alice a lot over the next few days. In fact, I saw her so much that I began

to wonder how I had possibly managed to remain unaware of her presence my

very first days at school. Alice seemed to be everywhere at once - zipping back

and forth between the cheerleaders and football players and the more artsy

looking kids in the lobby before school, cuddled up with one particular tall, cute

football player that I assumed to be her boyfriend against a locker between

classes, cheerfully making the morning announcements that were piped into

every single homeroom. She was always surrounded by several people, most of

whom seemed to at least try to hang onto her every rapidfire word, so I had no

idea how she always managed to take notice of me if I was passing by.

But she always did. It seemed like anytime I was within a twenty-foot radius,

Alice was able to establish missile lock and hone right in on me. "Bella!" she'd

nearly scream, sometimes practically pushing people out of the way in order to

get to me before I skirted away, her trilling voice unnecessarily loud, immediately

causing a blush as several people turned to figure out who the hell Alice was

shrieking at. Then she'd link her arm through mine and insist on walking with me

to my next class so that I didn't get lost, or ditching her second period study hall

to come hang out with my in the library during mine. Don't get me wrong; I

appreciated her overtures and enjoyed our blossoming friendship. I was just a

tiny bit puzzled regarding the fervor behind it, why Alice seemed so entirely

enthusiastic about being my friend. Sometimes her lips would press together as

she approached me, her eyes would grow all intense, and she'd appear very

much a woman on a mission. Alice seemed to already have more than enough

friends, so I was just lost as to what that mission was.

And slowly, I worked on getting acclimated to my new surroundings. Alice had

been right - I was starting to assume she was right about many things - and

people were slowly warming up to me. I'd started sitting with a very sweet girl

named Angela in my English class, and I got the sense we had a lot in common.

Guys would talk to me every now and again. One, Mike Newton, always made a

point of doing so, but I got the impression he was simply talking to me for the

sake of being the person to talk to the new girl rather than displaying any actual

interest in me as a person. I was getting lost less, no longer having to devote full

attention to navigating the hallways and making sure I didn't trip over people as I

searched for classrooms.

As a result, I was actually able to pay more attention to the people who attended

my new school. It was pretty easy to figure out the social structure of Forks High

School. Some of this was simply because it was obvious that the people who

made time to talk to me were the ones closer to the bottom. Then there were

those evidently near the top. I sometimes heard them saying their names

confidently during roll call in classes - "Rosalie Hale" or "Emmett McCarty" or

"Lauren Mallory" - and I often heard the same names called frequently in the

hallways or in the lobby. They were the people who were the prettiest and had

the best bodies and wore the coolest clothes and seemed entirely consumed by

one another. They had enough going on in their lives, and clearly didn't feel the

need to expand their social circle in any way by talking to me.

Alice was really the only exception. We only had art class twice a week, but it

seemed to have been established that we would sit together. Amazingly, Alice

remained quiet when the teacher was actually giving instruction, which I was

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