Closer part 18 Closer part XVIII Another one from my Secret Ninja Porn Beta. Every girl should have one ;) Rating: R/NC-17-ish Disclaimer: I don't own the series, I don't own the characters, and I make no money from this - though god knows I could use it. Summary: Ed's adventures in amateur porn. All previous parts can be found in my memories. Notes: I was unsure about this part but my secret ninja porn beta told me it wasn't crap, and I trust her, so here it is. And the cliffhanger is resolved in time for the Monday Morning of Extreme Evilness. Yay ^^ I'm trying to realise you being with some other guy I don't know the reason why, You oughta be with me until I die. - Al Green, You Ought To Be With Me There was an argument going on in the lab when Roy clamped down his smile (there was always an argument where Ed was involved) and pushed the door open. And went perfectly still. For just a second, he was so surprised his face was exactly as blank as he always trained it to be. And then the surprise broke and his face nearly crumpled. Ed sitting on a lab stool leaning back, elbow pressed to the chest of the taller blond boy leaning over him with a hand to either side of him, and Roy had researched the Tringhams after hearing they were to aid the Elric brothers in their experiment, and the name Russell had rung a bell . . . The position was too close to be friendly, the position was only two breaths away from being overfriendly . . . "Fuck you, actually." the other boy, Russell, said around a smirk, and raised his hand to press his fingers over Ed's lips to keep his growl quiet but Ed batted his hand away, teeth gritted. "Why not, anyway?" Ed pulled his head back slightly, eyes narrowed, and after a second's pause said brusquely, "I just don't like you like that. Sorry." The other boy looked surprised, and Ed gave him a strange, not-quite-apologetic look - and then caught sight of Roy out of the corner of his eye and they both looked over quickly, and surprise broke over Ed's face like a wave. Roy saw the first opening of oh-, and then annoyance, and then - Then he just looked puzzled, and angry about it, and embarrassed, and angry about that. "Colonel . . ." he said, but there was clearly nothing further coming. "If I could borrow my subordinate for a moment," Roy said, perfectly calmly, one hand - he couldn't stop it, the muscles hurt from trying to stop it - slowly dragging his fingertips together and scraping up almost-sparks. "If you're not using him, that is." Russell gave him a long, piercing look, but he had nothing on Hawkeye, nothing on Ed, and he slipped away from Ed looking suspicious but without saying anything. Ed almost fell off his stool in his eagerness to step away from him, squirmed his jacket more comfortably onto his shoulders, and gave Roy another confused, annoyed, angry look and walked out. Roy closed the door behind him, forcing himself not to give Russell one last look. He'd been trying to prepare himself for the inevitable from the start - Ed wanting someone else, Ed wanting someone his own age, Ed not wanting him anymore. But seeing him - Not yet, not yet, please God not yet- ("I just don't like you like that. Sorry.") He blinked and there were black bubbles popping in the corners of his vision. He wasn't breathing properly. But - not today. Ed had been firm, positive, casual in his refusal. Not today, but Roy felt the closeness of what he'd almost lost, as close as a kiss - "Is there anywhere here to discuss confidential military matters?" he said, around a brittle smirk. Ed stared at him with narrowed eyes for a moment, and then shrugged. "The labs're all being used. C'mon." Roy followed him down the corridor, until Ed stopped and opened a non-descript door, turning a timer so the lightbulb flickered on. A cupboard full of alchemical supplies. Ed walked in, turned to face him and folded his arms, his face as unimpressed and irritated as it ever was in the office. Roy closed the door behind himself and stared down at Ed - this golden flare of anger and fire and heat - and, not for the first time, he understood the moth . . . "You're being weird." Ed said accusingly, and Roy's body was no longer following orders from any rational part of him. Ed yelped as he was thrust roughly into the shelves at his back, rattling them and knocking something to the floor to shatter like a starburst underfoot, and Roy fixed his mouth over Ed's like he could mark him, like he could tattoo his claim over his mouth, like he could drink him in and own him- (there may be others, you may tire of me and leave me, but I will always have had this, I will always be the first person you ever saw properly, I will always own this part of you-) Ed's hands fell helplessly down his body, caught in his uniform, and he barely rode the kiss, hardly able to respond as Roy pressed himself full-length over him. Roy wanted to rub his scent all over Ed like a tomcat, rub off the closeness of - - oh God, he was jealous - jealous - and his 'rival' was a fourteen year old boy . . . He forced himself to pull back at that thought and Ed gasped, sagged forward against him, hands shaking as they closed around his arms. "Damn," he said hoarsely, panting against Roy's chest. "Miss me, then?" Roy tilted his head down into Ed's hair and inhaled him. He could barely think around the word Mine so huge and loud in his head. He licked his lips and murmured, "Well, Monday morning gave me a lot to think about." Ed panted out a laugh and stood up a little unsteadily, pushing off from Roy to support himself once more. "Okay. There's that. But-" He really could be startlingly fast when he wanted to, seeing as it always took him so long to hand his reports in. Before Roy could make a sound Ed had his hand in Roy's collar and he'd yanked him down, eye to narrowed golden eye, and he snarled, "What the fuck, Roy? What happened to all the discretion is the most important thing -" in a deep but still nasal impersonation of his own voice that Roy thought he probably didn't deserve- "crap if you're gonna start humping me in military buildings? That wasn't a 'hello, I've missed you' kiss, that was-" Ed drew his bottom lip in with his teeth for a second and swallowed and said, "something else." Roy let his breathing slow to something more dignified as he tried to think what to say. "You seemed to be having fun, when I got here." Ed spat back, "That has nothing to do with-" and then paused. "That . . . has everything to do with this, doesn't it?" he said, mouth open, eyes wide. The look of open-mouthed surprise gave way to a particularly evil grin, and he said, "What did you think, Colonel, I'd found something better?" "I sincerely doubt that you could find something better, Edward." Roy said calmly, smoothing down his uniform, and Ed's grin widened for a second. "Yeah, you are the God of everything, Mustang." The grin flickered down. "I told you already I don't look at people like that. And I already told you I love you, you bastard, isn't that supposed to mean something?" His forehead creased, and his voice was a little uneasy, now. "It does, doesn't it?" "Of course it does. Of course it-" "So why the hell would you think I'd suddenly change my mind?" Clearly Roy had spent too long in the office, clearly he was overworked, clearly too much Ed had corrupted his brain and made him as likely to say exactly what he was thinking as Ed always was - because what came out of his mouth was, "Sometimes I wonder if you know what that word means." Ed's face twisted with confusion and he said, "What word?" . . . damn. There must be a way to have this conversation without Ed breaking him in two, without losing him, which was worse, was terrifying, and Roy's stomach was free-floating inside as he said, ". . . when I was your age . . ." "You're not me! What word?" Roy's heart had come loose as well now, was bobbing around inside with his stomach and bouncing painfully off the base of his throat. He shouldn't have started this, he shouldn't have said that, there was no way to pull this back - "What do you mean when you say 'love', Ed?" Ed stared at him, but the surprise gave way to something else very quickly. His eyes held Roy's hard, eyes fixed and mouth a tight line, and eventually he lifted his head just slightly, let his breath out slowly through his nose, and said, "Do you love me?" Perfectly calmly, as if he was asking to borrow a pen. "Of course I - Ed, you know I-" "Say it." Roy struggled to keep his own voice steady, but he couldn't match Ed's perfectly level tone right now, he was helpless in front of someone who didn't even come up to his chin. "I love you," he said, and Ed's eyes were even harder now, impossible to see behind. "And you mean that when you say it, and I don't, is that it? Are we back onto the 'because I'm a kid' thing, or is this just that I'm too fucking stupid to know what I feel-" "Ed-" "Don't touch me." Ed said, in the same stone-level voice, and the strength behind it made Roy's hands hesitate in the air as he reached for him. Ed didn't move, didn't break eye contact for a second. "I don't know what I mean by love. I don't mean it. That's it?" He took another slow, hard breath through his nose and gritted out, "You arrogant bastard." "Please try and think about this in context, for god's sake, Ed, I'm the first person you ever even looked at, how can you know I'm the best thing for you if-" "How do I know? Do you think I'd put up with you for anything less? How do I know?" Ed's teeth were clenched as he let out in a hiss, "I watched my mother die still waiting for my father, and you think I don't know what love means? F...
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