Lions and Pebbles and Penguins.pdf

Lions and Pebbles and Penguins, Oh my!

nd Pebbles and Penguins, Oh my!

Title: Lions and Pebbles and Penguins, Oh my!

Fandom

Fandom: Merlin

WARNINGS

WARNINGS: animal attack

Word

Word Count

Count:10,306

obsessed_psyco

Summary

obsessed_psyco

Summary: Sitting at the top of "Uther's All Time Parenting Backfires" is Arthur's fellow colleague

and clumsy best friend - Merlin Emrys. Written for the kink_me prompt of: Arthur and Merlin as

penguins, based on this article w/c is basically about 2 male penguins who paired off and raised an

egg successfully. original post here

Part 1

It is a well known fact that Arthur loves his job. He considers it the second best thing that has ever

happened to him, which is ironic since his father considers it the worst thing that Arthur has ever

done. On ArthurÔs list of ÑUther PendragonÔs All Time Parenting Backfires,Ò his current job as head

of the African Animals department at the cityÔs largest zoo currently ranks as number two.

It is also a well known fact that Uther Pendragon does not like that his son actually works for a

living with his hands. He had aspired Arthur to become a businessman, like himself, or if he had to

do something outrageously different then he couldÔve been a lawyer, but no, Arthur had to become a

zookeeper. (At this point, Arthur always politely reminds his father that he has a PhD in Zoology and

doesnÔt actually run around all day cleaning up animal poop.)

ItÔs all UtherÔs fault anyway. When Arthur was 15 years old, Uther decided it was high time he have

a job and learn some financial responsibility. Uther had made it abundantly clear that he wanted

Arthur to fully appreciate his privilege and as such got him a summer internship at the nearby zoo.

He was hoping that a summer of shoveling shit would make Arthur appreciate the finer things that

his fatherÔs wealth could afford.

It completely backfired. Yes, Arthur did spend much of his time knee deep in elephant dung, but he

also got to bathe the elephants, and he helped feed the lion cubs and he helped nurse an injured

giraffe back to health. It was the best summer of his life. And that began ArthurÔs love affair with

African animals and led to his current job as head of that department.

It was also that summer in which Uther managed number 3 on ArthurÔs list of ÑAll Time Parenting

Backfires.Ò In an effort to ensure that Arthur would not be ensnared by some debutant while still in

his young (pubescent) years, Uther sent Arthur to an all boys boarding school. It was there that

Arthur received the education that Uther wanted and one that he was sure Uther had not intended.

Arthur had already begun to realize differences in his burgeoning sexuality from that of his friends,

and being thrust into close contact with several hundred other boys was a prime opportunity to

explore them. Unlike his job, he did not flaunt that in his fatherÔs face, much. He left that to

Morgana and her girlfriend Vivian, and when Uther would walk in on them mid-make out he

would often storm away muttering about that damn all girls school.

Though both his job and his sexuality where very important aspects to Arthur, neither topped the list.

Before both number 2 and number 3, Uther had sat Arthur down and lectured him on the

importance of mingling with individuals of his own station. He was to make friends with the

affluent children and Uther often arranged play dates for Arthur when he was a child. At this point

in his life, Arthur is wholly convinced that if he had a wider social circle through childhood and

Lions a

Title

Fandom

WARNINGS

Word

Count

Beta

Beta: obsessed_psyco

Summary

school, then he would not be completely and utterly infatuated with a certain colleague. He would

not be mesmerized by the completely graceless oddity that is the head of the Arctic Animals

department.

Sitting at the top of ÑUtherÔs All Time Parenting BackfiresÒ is ArthurÔs fellow colleague and clumsy

best friend Ï Merlin Emrys.

OOO

It isnÔt that Arthur is pining over Merlin, not at all, but if Merlin were available and so inclined,

Arthur would be the first in line. He already knows they get along well. They spend time together

almost every day despite their respective habitats being clear across the park from each other, and

Arthur likes to think that Merlin searches him out almost as much as Arthur does Merlin.

Their first meeting had been inauspicious at best. Arthur had mistaken Merlin for one of the

summer interns (he had looked way too young and underdressed to be a department head) and had

asked Merlin to fetch him some coffee. Arthur had gotten coffee, poured into his desk chair and

since then, theyÔd become fast friends.

It helps that Merlin always has an easy grin pasted to his face and that he is as kind to the visitors as

he is to the animals in his domain. Merlin has been known to sleep in the office when one of the

animals is sick to ensure they were being taken care of and Merlin is the most requested speaker

when it comes to school groups visiting. Arthur has seen MerlinÔs long pale fingers complete tasks

from the mundane (pat an excited child on the head) to the gross (covered in fish from feeding the

penguins), to the selfless (pink tinged, raw, from keeping his hands in the cold water too long to try

and fix a habitat to specifications).

It is just MerlinÔs nature to be wildly endearing; and selfless to a fault; and utterly guileless; and

oblivious to the fact that he is peculiarly gorgeous; and dammnit Arthur is not pining.

So it is with no fluttering in his stomach, or building excitement when, on a Monday morning,

Arthur sits at his desk and finds an email from Merlin in his inbox. It is titled ÑBad NewsÒ and

Arthur wonders if Merlin finally figured out that the non fat frozen yogurt in the cafeteria isnÔt

exactly non fat. He clicks it open.

To: apendragon@zooadmin.com

From: memrys@zooadmin.com

Title: Bad News

Freya and I broke up. Also, I have gay penguins.

Dr. Merlin Emrys

Head of Arctic Animals Dept.

Arthur stares at the email for a few seconds, wondering how a break up with his girlfriend and

having gay penguins merit mentioning in the same breath. And really, what is so Óbad newsÔ about

breaking up with Freya? Arthur never liked her much anyway, and it wasnÔt because she

monopolized all of MerlinÔs Óoutside of workÔ time, or the way they were unbearably cute together,

or how she had insinuated herself so quickly and completely into MerlinÔs life, or anything related at

all to Arthur and his not-pining.

To: memrys@zooadmin.com

From: apendragon@zooadmin.com

Title: Re: Bad News

Sorry to hear about Freya.

And how exactly do you know the penguins are gay? Are they singing show tunes? Have they

suddenly developed an affinity for Barbara Streisand?

Dr. Arthur Pendragon

Head of African Animals Dept.

Arthur smiles at his own wittiness. He is settled into his morning routine, drinking his coffee,

looking over reports when he notices another email in his inbox.

To: apendragon@zooadmin.com

From: memrys@zooadmin.com

Title: Re: Re: Bad News

ItÔs ok. It was mutual and I figured it was bound to happen anyway.

And I think it was the rainbow sticker on the outside of their igloo that clued me in.

Prat

Dr. Merlin Emrys

Head of Arctic Animals Dept.

To: memrys@zooadmin.com

From: apendragon@zooadmin.com

Title: Re: Re: Re: Bad News

Well if it was mutual and you figured it was coming anywayÈ.does that warrant the title of Bad

News? That seems a bit overdramatic, doesnÔt it?

And really, do gay penguins qualify as ÓBad NewsÔ as well? It may be odd news, yes, but truly bad

news would be if your penguins suddenly turned fluorescent green

Dr. Arthur Pendragon

Head of African Animals Dept.

To: apendragon@zooadmin.com

From: memrys@zooadmin.com

Title: News that is Unfortunate and Totally Unrelated News that is Odd

Does my title suit your picky sensibilities now? Anyway, time for rounds.

Meet for lunch? I can tell you all about my homosexual flightless birds and/or my new status as an

unattached human male.

Dr. Merlin Emrys

Head of Arctic Animals Dept.

To: memrys@zooadmin.com

From: apendragon@zooadmin.com

Title: My Picky Sensibilities?

Lunch at the usual spot.

And really Merlin, human? I thought we both knew better than that.

Dr. Arthur Pendragon

Head of African Animals Dept.

Next to lunches with Merlin and the occasional lion cub feeding, or rhino washing, or zebra

grooming, rounds are ArthurÔs favorite part of the day. He gets to wander around his area of the zoo,

ensure all his animals are healthy and active, habitats are maintained and make sure his employees

are doing what theyÔre supposed to be doing. He likens rounds to prowling around like a Big Lion

On The Prowl as he gets to growl at people a bit, and inspect the safety of his Pride.

He has to admit that his staff is a pretty good lot and they actually donÔt need much growling at to

get their jobs done. Lance is in charge of all the maintenance needs and personal care of the animals

and he runs a tight ship. He also pines after Gwen from Reptiles and Amphibians like Arthur does

not pine after Merlin.

Arthur navigates the maze that is the Óbehind the scenesÔ area of his section like he was born there,

stopping to talk to Lance who is mending a section of the giraffe fence and pausing to note that the

elephant enclosure needs a good shoveling (heÔll get that new intern Mordred to take care of it.) The

zebras are munching away, having just been fed, and the hippos are relaxing in a large mud pit.

Everything looks good so he heads over to his cats.

Everyone at the zoo has their favorite animals. For Gwen it is a boa named Rosa. She can often be

seen talking to school groups and visitors with Rosa draped across her shoulders. Lance loves a

young giraffe named Moe whom he helped bring into this world, and sometimes Arthur has to yell

at him for slipping Moe too many treats (Moe has gotten quite chubby). Merlin always says he loves

all his animals equally but Arthur knows there is an Arctic hare (that everyone calls Merlin Jr for its

ears) of which he is particularly fond. For Arthur, itÔs Napoleon.

Napoleon is a very big, very crabby, very regal lion. Napoleon is also very old. He turned thirty a few

months back which is ancient considering most lions in the wild live to the ripe old age of sixteen.

Napoleon came to the zoo from another zoo who didnÔt appreciate the magnificence of a large cat

sunning himself on a rock for hours on end then eating then going back to his rock for more hours.

Arthur thinks heÔs brilliant.

Napoleon is just the type of animal Arthur would be if he were an animal. Well, Napoleon but gay.

(Napoleon, despite being lazy as the day is long, has sired a ton of cubs).

Thinking of gay animals has Arthur checking his watch to see if it was Ólunch with MerlinÔ time. ItÔs

near enough so Arthur heads toward the concession stands.

It is a well-known zoo employee fact that the best corn dogs are from the concession stand next to

the tropical bird aviary, which is very near NapoleonÔs lair. (Arthur has a love/hate relationship

with a certain parrot that someone taught to say ÓArthur is a pretty bird.Ô) MerlinÔs favorite lunch is

two corndogs with a side of corndog and chili cheese fries. So Arthur orders ÓMerlinÔs usualÔ and

heads toward their bench.

It is also a well known fact that the best pizza is located right next to the wolf pen, which is on

MerlinÔs way from the land of the Arctic to their favored bench near the prairie dogs. ArthurÔs

favorite lunch is pepperoni pizza, breadsticks and a red slushy which Merlin courteously brings

from his side of the zoo. (Sometimes they go wild and eat only popcorn and cotton candy but those

days never end well.)

Arthur arrives early and settles on his part of the picnic bench, the prairie dogs popping in and out

of their holes behind him. He sees Merlin from a long way off, somehow balancing pizza,

breadsticks, red slushy and lemonade, while avoiding the children that run too close to his legs.

Merlin is wearing nice slacks today and a button down, which means he has a lecture to do that

afternoon, which also means the red slushy is in danger. ItÔs not that Merlin sets out to be clumsy

but anything that can happen, usually does. ItÔs a good thing Gwen keeps a Merlin-sized dress shirt

in her locker in the employee break room.

For all of MerlinÔs quirks, he really is the truest friend Arthur has ever had. He is intelligent,

thoughtful, humorous and oddly good looking, and he is approaching so Arthur averts his gaze so

he is not caught staring. ItÔs hard because Merlin looks sharp in the dress clothes, and lean and pale

as ever, his black hair complimenting the blue of his eyes andÈ.

ÑHey, Arthur!Ò Merlin says as he sets down the food without mishap. ÑHowÔs Napoleon?Ò

ÑSpry as ever,Ò Arthur responds with a smile.

Merlin grins and Arthur really canÔt look away but the grin is different somehow, tighter, not quite

reaching his eyes and Arthur wonders if the break up with Freya is affecting him more than he lets

on.

ÑHowÔs Merlin Jr?Ò

Merlin rolls his eyes and passes Arthur the (intact!) red slushy. ÑYou know thatÔs not its real name,

right?Ò

ÑWhat is his real name then, Merlin?Ò

Plik z chomika:

Inne pliki z tego folderu:

Inne foldery tego chomika: