{1841}{1942}I always worry that maybe people|aren't gonna like me when I go to a party. {1946}{2001}Isn't that crazy? {2022}{2157}Do you ever get kind of a sick feeling in the|pit of your stomach when you dread things? {2162}{2241}I wouldn't wanna miss a party,|but every time I go to one... {2246}{2338}...I keep feeling like|the whole world's against me. {2342}{2422}See, I've spent my whole life|in military academies. {2426}{2497}My mother doesn't have a place for me|where she lives... {2501}{2561}...and she doesn't know|what else to do with me. {2566}{2680}You mustn't misunderstand about my mother.|She's really a lovely person. {2684}{2793}I guess every boy thinks his mother|is beautiful, but my mother really is. {2798}{2909}She tells me in every letter she writes how|sorry she is that we're not together more... {2913}{2989}...but she has to think of her work. {2994}{3088}One time we were together, though.|She met me in San Francisco once... {3093}{3210}...and we were together for two whole|days, just like we were sweethearts. {3214}{3306}It was the most wonderful time I ever had. {3310}{3418}Then I had to go back|to the military academy. {3422}{3525}Every time I walk into that barracks,|I get a kind of... {3672}{3725}A kind of a... {3837}{3882}I'm sorry. {4053}{4121}Kind of a depressed feeling. {4126}{4220}It's got hard, stone walls.|You know what I mean? {4234}{4321}I guess I've bored you enough,|telling you about myself. {4358}{4398}Thank you. {4402}{4505}Sorry about that. I goofed up the last|couple of lines. I guess I'm nervous. {4513}{4558}That's okay. You did very well. {4861}{4905}I'm sorry. {5506}{5572}Thank you. You play very well. {5576}{5701}Now Mrs. Tossoff's gonna play some notes|for you. Sing them back to us. Like so: {5799}{5906}- It's too low for me.|- You're a tenor? You want to start here? {5970}{6025}Louder, please. {6938}{6984}I'm so nervous. {6988}{7045}- I'm not singing.|- But you have to. {7049}{7104}- But I came to dance.|- You have to sing too. {7108}{7166}- And act, and play an instrument.|- All three? {7170}{7244}- It says "performing arts," doesn't it?|- You don't have to do everything. {7249}{7390}- Sure as shit helps, baby.|- Thank you. The next group, please. Hurry. {7394}{7468}- Oh, I like your nose ring.|- I'm into culture. {7473}{7572}- Does that hurt, or is that ethnic?|- Music, please, Mrs. Snell. {7576}{7667}Please pay attention.|We have a lot to do today. {7739}{7810}- I hate my legs.|- Yeah. Me too. {7815}{7910}- I've tried every diet in the whole world.|- Really? Me too. {7919}{8030}But you can't help your glands.|I'm sorry! I'm just so nervous. {8034}{8108}Relax! Come on, use your body. {8339}{8429}- Careful. That's 7000 worth of machine.|- Dollars or pounds? {8433}{8517}Don't touch the rotary pods.|I got it set on saw-tooth. {8522}{8633}Why can't he play the piccolo? Something|sensible. Or the accordion, like Papa did. {8637}{8726}Same reason you drive a checker and|not a Roman chariot. It's progress. {8730}{8828}My son's head is into the future.|And Papa could never play the accordion. {8954}{9041}- Do you think you're talented?|- You swine! You coward! You cad! {9046}{9105}You dare judge me in my misfortitude? {9110}{9201}You dare to ask me the question|who is the father of my child? {9205}{9317}- You! You! I point to you, Nigel!|- Next, please. {9323}{9454}The next group of musicians can|go to the fifth floor now, please. {9771}{9815}- Name?|- Excuse me, miss. {9819}{9910}You don't need his name. He's not here|for the audition. He's my partner. {9914}{9965}- What school's he from?|- He ain't into school. {9970}{10092}He's just helping me out with my dancing.|But it's me who's auditioning. {10096}{10192}Mulholland, Shirley. I'm all fixed up.|I filled in all your papers and all. {10196}{10249}He doesn't go upstairs|without filling in his name. {10254}{10377}Leroy's his name, but I'm auditioning.|Shirley Mulholland. That's two L's. {10382}{10492}- And don't ask him to do no writing.|- Doesn't he talk, even? {10497}{10561}He ain't into conversation|until you get to know him. {10574}{10671}- Leroy what?|- Johnson. Leroy Johnson. Can we go up now? {10684}{10751}He's not going up|until he checks his knife. {10755}{10833}We ain't staying long enough for no trouble.|He's just helping a friend. {10838}{10918}He's not helping out anyone|unless he checks his knife. {10922}{11009}This is the High School for Performing Arts.|We don't cut each other up here. {11035}{11077}- You want it?|- I want it. {11086}{11144}- You sure you want it?|- Yeah, I'm sure. {11174}{11248}- Promise you won't steal it, now?|- I promise. {11307}{11365}- Thanks, ma'am.|- Name? {11370}{11452}Don't worry, baby. I got lots of knives. {11473}{11546}- What are you going to do for us?|- I was gonna sing. {11551}{11632}- You don't have to sing, honey.|- We know our rights. {11636}{11737}- You can't refuse her an audition.|- She's not supposed to sing her audition. {11741}{11862}Please, excuse me, if you don't mind.|See, honey, you don't have to sing for us... {11866}{11957}...because this is the drama department.|- When she sings, it is drama. {11964}{12026}- What's your name, honey?|- Finsecker. {12086}{12118}Doris Finsecker. {12262}{12335}- Hi.|- How do you do? {12339}{12389}- What's your name?|- Ralph Garci. {12398}{12498}- Who was your teacher?|- Well, my father taught me. {12502}{12617}He's doing some work for the government.|I'm actually not supposed to talk about it... {12622}{12772}...but my father played some of the|most beautiful symphonies... {12776}{12841}...in the whole world once.|- What did he play? {12870}{12917}Trombones. {12941}{12997}And French horns. {13036}{13060}English horns. {13110}{13160}- Saxophones.|- Anything else? {13165}{13197}Yeah. {13231}{13352}- Bongos, maracas, that sort of stuff.|- What did he teach you? {13550}{13583}Try the dance department. {13696}{13725}Yeah, tell him. {13744}{13799}We can't afford a professional|children's school. {13864}{13895}Okay, sing and then act. {13993}{14034}I'm a little nervous. {14039}{14153}Don't be shy, Sheila. Come over here.|What are you going to do? {14160}{14232}- I'm doing The Towering Inferno.|- What? {14262}{14338}- You know, the movie?|- Oh. {14349}{14425}All right, I'm playing O.J. Simpson.|I'm in this building. {14429}{14516}There's fire all around, right?|So I go to the elevator. {14521}{14616}Think of it as a concentration exercise.|Just sing to Michael... {14622}{14752}...and don't worry about anybody else.|- I don't think I can do that. I can't just stare. {14758}{14797}He won't mind. {14879}{14981}- Waiting for the elevator.|- Press the button, Doris. {15102}{15132}Her brother Harvey. {15650}{15721}Doesn't come, so now I'm getting mad. {16689}{16796}Finally it comes, so I get in.|Okay, and there's people all around. {16801}{16861}And they're looking right at me. {17976}{18072}Yeah, my father taught me. I'm not|supposed to talk about him right now. {18077}{18144}He's doing a little bit of work|for the government, but... {18148}{18249}My father is very, very famous.|He danced with the Rockettes. {18262}{18312}Sure. Would you begin, please? {18349}{18420}- I'll be doing "Swanee River" for you.|- Okay. {18424}{18485}And... {18490}{18608}Hon? "Swanee River," please.|Hit it. {18710}{18800}Doris, what would you do|if you don't make it? {18814}{18840}We'll make it. {18854}{18905}Next, please. {18918}{18988}But I that am not shaped|for sportive tricks... {18992}{19061}...nor made to court|an amorous looking glass... {19066}{19142}...I that am... Cheated of...|Oh, I'm sorry. {19537}{19590}Why don't you try|the drama department. {19595}{19721}If again "it was not well cut,"|he'd answer, I spake not true: {19726}{19782}This is called the Reply Churlish. {19790}{19862}Nobody talks about it,|but there's a quota system. {19866}{19984}Your chances are better if you're black,|Puerto Rican or everything, like me. {19988}{20091}- I am Puerto Rican.|- Not on your paper you ain't, Ralph Garci. {20095}{20185}- Your daddy doing government work.|- That's the truth. {20193}{20293}And he left you his tap shoes, right?|Does he work for Pepsi-Cola too? {20310}{20336}Be careful. {20342}{20405}- To the left. Left.|- Come the other way. {20410}{20449}All right. {20454}{20517}Easy, now. Straight back, Bruno? {20561}{20632}- Where do you want this at?|- Far corner. {20692}{20737}How do you do? {20742}{20785}Okay. Fine. {20790}{20892}Great. Look, I'll do that. You just go|and get the rest of the stuff, okay? {20896}{20945}Oh, Martelli. Bruno Martelli. {20954}{21034}Would you like to set up|your equipment, Mr. Martelli? {21162}{21200}Who taught you? {21204}{21341}Who taught me? My father, he taught me.|He's in Spain. He makes Italian Westerns. {21346}{21449}- Why do you want to go to school here?|- Because Freddie went here. {21456}{21551}- Freddie?|- Freddie Prinze. He's great. He's the best. {21555}{21645}- So you want to be an actor, huh?|- Yeah, sure, I want to be an actor. {21649}{21709}Judy, Judy, Judy.|Top of the world, Ma. {21714}{21826}We don't want you to perform. We want|to see who you are. You understand? {21834}{21888}- Right.|- Use your own experience. {21897}{21968}Be simple, be honest,|but most of all, be yourself. {21983}{22077}- Be honest. Be simple. Be yourself?|- Be yourself. {22113}{22217}I'm God, see?|And God is Puerto Rican, you got that? Now. {22232}{22332}God works in a casa de steam, you know.|It's a steam bath, right? {22336}{22483}And he's talking to this angel. This angel is|a computer. Right? An electronic computer. {22487}{22603}I'm God, see? That's why I'm standing|on this chair, you got that? Good. {22830}{22913}Does he wanna be a musician|or an airline pilot? {22940}{23034}Mr. Martelli. We are ready when you are.|Would you care to begin? {23039}{23101}Oh, oka...
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