Tame Your Brain!
By Jan Tincher
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Find Your Personal Success Using These Proven Techniques and Strategies!
This is a FREE e-book.
Learn from it! Share it!
If you are a webmaster, feel free to offer it
on your site as a *Bonus Book!*
You will learn:
How to control your anger, a negative emotion that stops you from living life to the fullest
How to stay focused, something that people with 20 things going on at once find hard to do
How to center yourself
How to change your negative ways
How to learn how to spell difficult words forward and backward.
These techniques and strategies are so cool, you’ll wonder why they didn’t teach you this in school. Just think how your life would have been.
JAN TINCHER
HYPNOTHERAPIST & MASTER NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMER
Forest City, Iowa 50436
mailto:jan@tameyourbrain.com
http://www.tameyourbrain.com
Copyright 2001, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide
IS ANGER A WAY OF LIFE FOR YOU . . . OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW?
Does someone just have to look at you differently, and you get angry?
If someone cuts in front of you when you’ve been standing in line *forever,* do you get angry?
If a delivery is late, do you get angry?
If someone doesn’t live up to your expectations, do you get angry?
Do you get angry, frustrated, or hurt often? Does it seem like being angry is a habit with you now?
Well, it doesn’t have to be.
One way to stop it is to sit down and write a letter to yourself, and yourself only.
Now, I know this sounds so simple, it’s ridiculous, but guess what. IT’S NOT SIMPLE, IT’S NOT RIDICULOUS.
This isn’t just any letter. This letter works through the six layers of emotions associated with anger. I found this technique in literature put out by Barbara De Angelis, Ph. D, and it has helped many of my clients. Sometimes, they thought they were coming to me for something else entirely, when in fact anger was the base of the problem. Once their anger was in control, they were able to move on.
This is a process that will help you put the anger behind you. As you use it, you will find that you are be able to control your anger quickly. You will soon be able to calm down immediately. In time, you will no longer need the letter, your mind will automatically go through the process without you having to even write it. That is the ultimate goal, but for now, write the letter, feel the change, and get on with your life.
Here is how to do that.
There are six levels involved in healing anger. They are Anger, Hurt, Fear, Regret, Intention, and Love. Each level has two feelings associated with it. For Anger, the feelings are blame and resentment. For Hurt, they are sadness and disappointment. For Fear they are insecurity and wounds. For Regret they are understanding and responsibility. For Intention, they are solutions and wishes. For Love, they are forgiveness and appreciation. We have to work through each feeling in each level until we get to the ultimate, and that is Love.
*** Sidebar*** We cannot be healed until we can love ourselves. We cannot be productive until we can love ourselves. We cannot love others until we can love ourselves. Writing a letter to ourselves, sometimes several letters, is the first step toward recovering our own self-love. *** End of sidebar ***
There must be at least one sentence per feeling in your letter, once you write that sentence, it usually leads to more, which leads to even more. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to write until you can’t write another sentence for that feeling.
So, get out a pencil and paper and let’s get to work.
The Anger level deals with blame and resentment.
Write as many sentences as you can that start out with this: "I blame you for ____."
Write as many sentences as you can that start out with this: "I resent the fact that you ______." Or "I resent you for ______"
*** Sidebar *** The sentences don’t have to start out exactly like that. These are just examples. The sentence DOES have to deal with the feeling you are working on, though. *** End of Sidebar ***
The Hurt layer deals with sadness and disappointment.
Write as many sentences as you can that start out like this: "You make me sad when you ____." Write as many sentences as you can that start out like this: "You disappoint me when you ______."
The Fear layer deals with insecurity and wounds.
Write as many sentences as you can that start out like this: "I feel insecure when you ____."
Write as many sentences as you can that start out like this: "You wound me when you ______."
Now, we’ve worked pass what has hurt us and we are working on toward a solution. This is a very important step. Since we are writing for ourselves, and maybe even to ourselves, this helps us come up with a solution for ourselves.
The Regret layer deals with understanding and responsibility.
Write as many sentences as you can that start out like this: "I understand the situation as ____." Write as many sentences as you can that start out like this: "I feel responsible when ______."
The Intention layer deals with solutions and wishes.
Write as many sentences as you can that start out like this: "I feel a solution might be ____."
Write as many sentences as you can that start out like this: "I wish ______."
The Love layer deals with forgiveness and appreciation.
Write as many sentences as you can that start out like this: "I forgive you for ____."
Write as many sentences as you can that start out like this: "I appreciate the fact that you ______."
You are working down through the six levels of emotions, individually. You are taking care of each emotion that would have ultimately ended up in anger. By the time you are back down to love, you are more in control of your emotions. And, by the way, did you notice you are feeling much better now? More in control? In a productive state? Good!
Now, who do you think you should show this letter to? NO ONE! Right? Right! Because showing the letter defeats the purpose of the letter. I cannot say this strongly enough! You are writing the letter for YOURSELF only, no matter who you are writing it to, so that YOU can work through YOUR feelings and become a better person. Showing this letter to anyone only decreases it’s value, and quite possibly HURTS the other person. Do you WANT to do that? I don’t think so. That’s not what we’re learning in this class, students. If you did show the letter to someone, it means you aren’t healed. Please, please, don’t learn that way. If you don’t feel 100% better, go back and rewrite the letter.
When you are finished, you will feel as though a load has been lifted from your shoulders. The anger will be gone. You have just learned that you are capable of dealing with your anger in a non-threatening way. And isn’t that a great way to handle it?
Now, decide to write a letter every time you start feeling that old tension start to grow, and realize that you have now taken control of your life. Because every time you take control, you are telling your brain that you WILL succeed, and it will help you relax faster and easier every time.
Thanks for reading.
Jan
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Having problems? Learn how to use your mind -- online!
Jan Tincher, Hypnotherapist and Master Neuro-Linguistic Programmer, teaches you unique NLP strategies and techniques in her FREE e-zine, *Tame Your Brain!*. Subscribe now and receive *Do Butterflies Land On Your Shoulder?* a fantastic article that shows you how to find peace. Mailto:article.subscribe@tameyourbrain.com
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DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A BRAIN *AND* A MIND?
Your mind is where you think your thoughts.
Your brain pretty much controls your body.
Now, if your mind is suddenly shocked by something you see, it translates very quickly to your brain -- which translates very quickly to your body-- that you are shocked. Depending on the severity of the shock and how you yourself respond to things, anything from the shakes to shutdown happens.
Let's dissect that . . .
You were shocked by something you saw. Or . . .
It could be something you heard. In which case, your brain searched for what you know of the subject and found a picture *made up of your memories* to form in your mind. That picture is your *take* on the situation, which shocked you.
Your mind showed the picture to your brain, which caused the reactions in your body.
OK, here's the tricky question . . .
What if you learned to control the thoughts that went into your brain?
What if your initial response segued to a softer picture. Or a softer response.
Like "It's not so bad." "I can handle it." "This too shall pass." *That's my favorite.*
OK, try this. Find something that scares you -- but not too bad, we want to experiment on the easier things . . .
Take three deep breaths and say one of the three sentences recommended above, or make up one of your own. *I always say, whatever works, works.* I'm brilliant sometimes that way, have you noticed?
Now, back to the scenario, doesn't that feel better?
Maybe, maybe not. Sometimes we need to experiment. Make sure you don't just do it once and give up.
OK, picture the scary, or not so scary, but more like disturbing picture, and take your deep breaths and say your *POWER* statement. That's what we'll call it OK? The POWER statements are, once again, "It's not so bad." "I can handle it." "This too shall pass." Or whatever you came up with on your own.
Going back to whatever works, works . . .
If two breaths work better than three, go for it. Same with four, five, or six! And while you're doing it, clench your fist together to feel the POWER!
Or . . .
Instead of clenching your fist, maybe straighten your stance, push back your shoulders, and feel the POWER!
Or maybe just smile mysteriously, but determinedly, as you take your breaths and say your POWER statement. *That's my favorite.*
What that shows you is that your mind has a definite impression on your brain. If you *change your mind* like I just showed you, you are taking control of your reactions and staying in a more productive state.
Now, you know that you have a brain and a mind. And you know just a little bit more than you did about how to use your mind productively to bring positive results into your life.
Isn't that fantastic?
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provided you retain the above resource box including this notice and notify us of the day(s) it will run.
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WHY CAN’T I STAY FOCUSED?
Do you know how to focus? Really focus?
No? Well, if you did know how, would it help you remember people’s names? Would it stop you from being nervous, or at least help you control your thoughts so your thoughts don’t make you nervous?
YOU BET!
How about if you talk too much or too loud? Would focusing help you?
Would it help you remember where you left something? Or why you even walked into that room in the first place?
Well, if focusing is such a benefit, why haven’t you learned how?
Too many reasons to go into, right?
Well, you’ve got time to read this now, you might as well learn while you’re here. What do you say? Shall we do it? OK!
Step one: *Don’t you just love it? I am so methodical.* Standup straight. Take a deep breath and close your eyes.
***Sidebar Now, some of us aren’t in shape, so maybe we’ll have to sit down for this. The rest of you, STAND. ***End of sidebar
Step two: Think of all the wonderful things that have happened in your life.
***Sidebar Remember, your mind does not know the difference between real and vividly imagined. If you don’t have any wonderful things that have happened to you, imagine the wonderful things that have happened to a friend or acquaintance. ***End of sidebar
Step three: Imagine what it feels like to experience something you don’t think you can handle.
Step four: Now, imagine yourself succeeding. Succeeding, regardless! How do you stand when you’re feeling that way? How do you look? How do you FEEL?
Step five: Now, on that feeling of exhilaration, feel the calm that is also there. Stand or sit straighter and imagine a golden glow of light in the shape of a funnel on the top of your head. Feel that light as it courses through your body.
Step six: Take another deep breath. Now, hold that breath in. As you hold your breath in, feel your heart beat.
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