There are a few things in the history of the world that will always be remembered by the countries, no matter how many generations pass. A few simple facts none of them can forget; a few moment in history that shook the planet right to the core. The World Wars, that involved most of the nations in some way or another…. That wild Christmas party that REALLY crazy (but that is a story for another day. It would take way too long to describe how Tino ended up on the roof drunkenly singing Du gamla, du fria wearing nothing but a Swedish flag)But above all, drunk-roof serenade or intense bloodshed, there was one event that topped them all. The World-meeting where Alfred almost got throttled to death by Arthur. And the fact that someone almost got murdered was not even PARTIALLY interesting compared to what happened that day. It all started out very simply…. Very normally and routinely. “THAT’S MY TOP SECRET NUCLEAR WEAPON DESIGN YOU BASTARD!” America yelling at SOMEONE. Again. “Hm? I have no idea what you’re talking about…” Russia said, still holding up the piece of paper he was showing off to everyone else. “Of course you do! This proves nothing! You couldn’t have possibly come up with that ‘new’ design for a weapon since my scientists have already made the exact same one!” he shouted, slamming his fist down on the table to make his ever so manly point. “You know…. I really don’t like it when people shout at me.” Russia said now, crinkling up the paper in one hand and smiling at America in that creepish murderous way we could pull off. After everyone got over the paralyzing fear they experienced after looking at that face, America spoke up once more. “Well, how could you have done that when I already made my design for the same weapon 10 years ago?! I DEMAND THE RETURN OF MY WEAPON PLANS!” he continued to shout, standing up now and beginning to lift one of his feet…. “DON’T STAND ON THE TABLE ALFE-“ Arthur had suddenly sat up from his seat, cutting himself off from his command with a sudden hiss of pain, eyebrows pinching together for a moment as he seemed to be fighting off some incredible sudden pain. It was over with in a moment however, and he continued. “Alfred…” he started out, rolling his eyes. “Tell us, if you will. Do you have any proof that you created this weapon before Russia did?” he said in a hoarsely, voice cracking a bit halfway through. Kiku (who happened to be sitting next to Arthur at the moment) spoke up for a moment. “Arthur… are you all right? You don’t sound –“ “I’m fine.” Arthur cut him off. “I just… had a rough night last night.” He muttered, slowly sitting down, face giving off an expression of pain for a few more moments before he calmed down. “And I couldn’t find any tea this morning…” Before Kiku could question how Arthur didn’t have TEA in his house of all things (tea was like oxygen in there, it there wasn’t tea in his house it wasn’t a Kirkland house) Alfred spoke up once more. “A ha! I knew someone was going to ask that! So kind of you to question that, Arthur! I do indeed have evidence to support this!” he said, whipping out a classic VHS tape and running over to a television set in the room, putting the large and bulky tape into the VCR, grinning ear to ear as he stepped back for a moment, finger resting over the ‘play’ button. “Ladies, Gentlemen, and Arthur Kirkland!” he said for a moment, winking over at the enraged man for a moment before he continued. “I present to you, MY EVIDENCE!” Alfred got up and ran back over to his chair, directly across from Arthur, looking to the television with wide excited eyes. You could practically see him BOUNCING in his seat with enthusiasm, trying to contain all his joy and excitement. The screen was black for a moment, until white flashed across it. The camera was horribly focused for a moment, before the auto-focus leveled out the image and you could see a piece of paper taped to a wall, with ‘secret American underwater lab’ written across it. “Is that in crayon-“ Lovino started, but he was cut off by America loudly and obnoxiously shushing him, waving at him angrily for a moment before he turned back to the screen.
One moment, you saw Alfred standing there wearing a ridiculous fake white mustache and poofy white wig, holding something that looked like a balloon with some buttons glued on it (some of those actually falling off as he held it). That’s when things started to turn for the worse. ‘Not-alfred the scientist’ opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly the picture changed again. This time, it was a close-up of Alfred’s face, twisted in concentration as he seemed to be holding something or moving something behind the camera. A light murmmer started to fill the room, general confusion happened everywhere. Alfred also seemed a bit confused, enthusiasm slowly fading. “A-ha! Got it!” Alfred said after a while, grinning now as he stepped back.You could not fully see the room. Alfred was standing in the middle of it, grinning with pride and looking up at the lens, winking at it for a moment and flexing. The room was a off-white color, at least what you could see of it. The furniture that you could see in the room was a dresser, with all kinds of various knick-knacks placed on it such as bobble-heads and a few glasses (obviously once full of water or some drink, but Alfred seemed to lazy to take them out of the room and to the kitchen. Besides this, you could see the door leading into the room, and finally the bed. The Camera seemed to be set in some kind of closet, out of view. “I knew that cowboy hat with the hole cut into it for a camera-helmet would come in handy someday! And they called me crazy!” Alfred said for a moment, stepping out of the shot for a moment. A door was heard opening, and then all was silent. “What is all of this abou-“ Ludwig began to ask, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at Alfred for a moment, cut off when something suddenly happened on film. The door in the shot of the camera opened, showing a skeptical looking Arthur holding a small pink note in his hand, slowly stepping into the room and silently shutting the door behind him. At the same time, Alfred and Arthur seemed to realize what was this video was. Arthur didn’t seem like he wanted to believe it however, sitting in shock instead of saying anything. Alfred on the other hand tried to stop it. “OH NO! CRAP! I seemed to have recorded over my evidence, this is not what I wanted to show! Let’s turn it o-“ “Nonsense. This could be a possible assassination attempt you recorded or national crime. You are obviously trying to hide something, so we could watch it until the end.” Russia said, with a gentle(evil) smile cast over at Alfred. He sat down without comment. Back in the video, Arthur had wandered into the middle of the room. “Alfred? Are you in here?” he questioned, waving the slip of paper around. “You requested me in here… oh bloody hell.” Arthur groaned out, slapping the note onto the dresser and sitting down on the bed, looking quite grumpy. “He TOLD me to meet him in here. Don’t tell me he is going to be late…” he grumbled out, crossing his arms. He sat there for a few moments, fuming in silent anger, before he took a look down on the bed. Arthur turned around, now on his knees on the bed, looking down at the sheets. From the left side of the screen, behind Arthur, the assembly could see something begin to slowly move in…. creeping into the shot. “My god, Spiderman sheets? Didn’t I tell him to get rid of these ridiculous …..” Arthur grumbled, getting on his hands and knees now. Now, from the left of the screen, you could see who was creeping in. It was Alfred, looking over to the camera for a moment with a smile, before continuing to creep up behind Arthur. Instead of his normal jacket and t-shirt on however, Alfred had no shirt. Only a pair of light jean pants. By the time Arthur had taken hold of the sheets, about to yank it up and sweep it off, Alfred pounced. Literally.
One moment, things were silent. The sounds that followed was a muffled cry of terror, followed by a long line of incredibly mangled noises, sounding like some kind of odd British slang that seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Alfred had pounced on Arthur from behind, one arm wrapped around the man’s waist while the other pinned the man’s hands down onto the bed. Everyone in the room seemed to be too shocked to say anything. Everyone was completely silent (well besides Francis who was having a little joy party next to Arthur, chin in both his hands and leaning on the table with an enthusiastic aura of joy surrounding him, eyes sparkling with excitement. Elizaveta was a bit slower on the uptake, but within moments she too was clutching her frying pan to her chest, blushing deeply as he watched the ever so scandalous scene) Things were at a standstill in the video for a moment, Alfred leaning his head down until it was next to Arthur’s ear. You could not see his face anymore, only Arthur’s already wide eyes grow even wider, a dark crimson spreading over his cheeks as he shut his eyes for a moment, mouth opening without any audible sound coming out. Fortunately, you could hear the next set of words. “S-stop this! Alfred I Demand you get off of me this instan-“ he started, but cut himself off with a sudden loud gasp, eyes snapping open. It didn’t take a genius to guess why… Alfred’s arm could be seen only to the wrist, which seemed to disappear in between Arthur’s thighs… “Oooooh! Hey Germany! Germany what are they doooooi-“ Feliciano started to say. Within the next moment, Ludwig and Lovino simultaneously reacted. Lovino stood up, walking behind Feliciano and slapping his hands over his eyes, while Ludwig forced his own hands over the spacey Italian’s ears. “Oops it is dark now!” he said with a light laugh, and a goofy grin. “Is it Siesta time now?” he added in, somehow standing up and moving over a seat, curling up right in Ludwig’s lap, and falling asleep right away. Lovino might have called Ludwig a pervert and demanded he remove his brother from his lap if he hadn’t been staring at the screen in horror and shock. Ludwig also could say nothing, staring at the screen and twitching a bit. The video continued, Arthur now visibly struggling. It was no use… Alfred obviously had the upper hand. Or in this case the lower hand, but this was no time for sexual jokes. As Arthur struggled, a deep chuckle could be heard, coming from Alfred. “Now you see what happens when you struggle? It only makes it more uncomfortable for you… why don’t you just sit back” at this point, a gasp was heard from Arthur, an effect from the sudden motion Alfred made with his hand. “And enjoy the experience.” Alfred purred out, the sound barley audible. Somehow within the next moment, Arthur was able to wiggle enough to at least be able to flip himself over to see Alfred face to face… a big mistake. His hands were still pinned, above his head now, and he had gained no power in the struggle. He stared up at Alfred for a moment, only the sound of heavy breathing audible as they stared for a moment. Alfred has a wide grin on his face, and Arthur’s was blank for a moment. The silence stayed for a second, before Arthur somehow got one hand out of Alfred’s grip and BAM. Elbowed him RIGHT across the face. This threw him off for a moment, knocking his glasses off of well, and Alfred stayed in a solid position, not moving as Arthur continued to lay down on the bed, glaring at Alfred as if expecting some kind of reaction or for him to back down. Instead of backing down however, that same (incredibly sexy) chuckle filled the room again, and Alfred cranked his head back over Arthur’s, grabbing each of his wrists with one on his hands now, using his hips to pin Arthur’s lower half to the bed. “You REALLY shouldn’t have done that.” He growled out, and before anything could happen or Arthur could say a single word, he forced his head down and crushed his mouth against Arthur’s.
By this point, at least a fourth of the men in the room were uncomfortably shifting in their chairs, for one reason or another. Some looked close to having to make that emergency special bathroom time run. (oh, YOU know the one). The next few minutes consisted of a struggle. Arthur obviously was caught off guard at some point and got a mouthful of Alfred’ struggling constantly against the grip and face slowly turning deeper and darker shades of red. The struggle continued for a bit until Arthur seemed to be struggling less, ending when Alfred ground his hips down into Arthur’s. The kiss was broken for a moment, and Arthur let out a small moan…. Cutting himself off from ending it, but it was too late. “I knew it, you little liar.” Alfred said, letting go of the brit’s wrists and instead moving down, and starting to remove his vest. “I-…. But yo-…. That wasn’t me!” Arthur tried to say, but the struggle was already over. He tried to bat away Alfred’s hands half-heartedly, but he no longer tried to writhe his way out from under Alfred. In no time, Arthur’s vest and shirt were gone and tossed away carelessly, Alfred pushing Arthur further into the bed by pinning down his shoulders, glancing up and down his torso. With a noticeable smirk, he ducked his head down, stealing a quick kiss before he moved down a bit, just barely tracing Arthur’s jaw line with his lips, giving the man under him that odd feeling that sent a visible shudder over his body. After this, Alfred moved down even more, pressing his lips and tongue along Arthur’s chest, pausing at one of his nipples, nipping at that. This got a shocked gasp from Arthur, who snapped into a more excited mood and snapped his head up, glaring down at Alfred. Alfred only lazily glanced up at him, rolling his eyes. “All right, all right. Geez, you British people. Always wanting to get right to the point….” He said with a hint of slyness in his voice, sitting up on his knees now, and fumbling with Arthur’s pants for a moment, doing some unbuttoning and unzipping, before tugging them right off. Arthur seemed to be momentarily shocked by the sudden motion, hands darting down to cover himself up, but Alfred caught his hands in each of his own, making a ‘tsk tsk’ sound. “Ah ah ah…. House rules, ol’ chap. Weapons where I can see them” he said with a sneer, looking down at Arthur’s exposed lower region for a moment before easing the pants (pooled around Arthur’s ankles) off the rest of the way with one of his knees. At this point, things were getting awkward in the room. Anyone whose eyes were not glued onto the television were out of the loop, looking around and shuffling awkwardly in their chairs. One of the few seemingly unaffected up to this point was Antonio, sitting right next to Alfred. He leaned back a bit, closer to Alfred, whispering “Dude…you tap that?” and pointing nonchalantly over to Arthur. ‘Oh no that was just a very realistic blow up doll’ Arthur thought sarcastically, nodding however. They did a silent high-five under the table, where Arthur couldn’t see, before turning their attention back onto the screen. Ooooh, just in time for the sex. Great.
When everything was done The Video screen turned black again. Silence filled the room. Complete silence. Those who did not have horrified or shock expressions on their faces were Francis (obviously, only happy) and Elizaveta (who looked like she was going to have a heart attack or some kind of happy fainting spell)…. Even SWEDEN looked horribly shocked. And THAT was saying something. All hell broke loose however, when the silence was broken. It started with Alfred, looking over at Arthur sheepishly. “Eh heh heh….. oops?” A low murmur started in the room, people talking to one another. Alfred looked around for support before facing England, catching eye contact with Berwald. The Swedish nation stared him down for a moment, Tino fidgeting uncomfortably beside him for a moment, before he gave the American nation a thumbs up sign. “No Su-san! That was bad!” Tino whispered, looking horribly distraught. Berwald stared down at his ‘wife’ for a few moments, like he was going to say something in his ‘silent’ language to him, before slowly turning the thumbs up into a thumbs down and shaking his head at Alfred like he had been scolding him the entire time. “You……. BASTARD!” Arthur screamed at the top of his lungs. Somehow, at some point or another, he had gotten a hold of Elizaveta’s frying pan and was now LUNGING across the table, all the way OVER it, and flying at Alfred, knocking over backwards, chair and all, and started to attempt murder. It took 5 countries and 30 minutes to actually get Arthur’s death-grip on Alfred loosened enough to save the American nation from sure death. Many lessons were learned that day. You did not ASK Arthur how he got so flexible and to give you pointers on sex, or else you got your head smashed into the nearest wall like poor Francis did. You also did not try to tape two different movies on the same VHS tape, it MIGHT over-record the other one and you might be showing people something a bit more personal than you started out with. Thankfully everyone forgot about Alfred’s horrible ‘evidence’….. the memory was replaced by something a bit more eventful. And it would go down in history as the most awkward meeting, never to be spoken of again.
Tandoku