ENGLISH SKETCHES(colour, WITHOUTTeaching notes).pdf

The ticket inspector: . . . . . . . . . .76

Tea break: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .77

The King of Boonland: . . . . . . . . .78

The restaurant: . . . . . . . . . . . . . .80

The doctor: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .82

Gussett and Rose: . . . . . . . . . . . .84

Hotel Splendido: . . . . . . . . . . . . .85

The passport office: . . . . . . . . . . .86

Fire practice: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .88

The post office: . . . . . . . . . . . . .90

Mr. Jones: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .92

The shoe stall: . . . . . . . . . . . . . .94

The check-in desk: . . . . . . . . . . .96

The police: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .98

The bus stop: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .100

A ticket to Birmingham: . . . . . . . .102

SKETCHES

Gerry Thatcher's party: . . . . . . . .104

The army: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106

The dentist: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108

Mr. Williams and the postman: . . .110

Tourist information: . . . . . . . . . . .112

The bank: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .114

The Superlative vacuum cleaner: . .116

Superman and the psychiatrist: . . .118

The lost property office: . . . . . . . .120

The travel agency: . . . . . . . . . . .122

Gerry Brown's driving test: . . . . . .124

Giovanni 's café: . . . . . . . . . . . . .126

Shakespeare's house: . . . . . . . . .128

Mr. Universe: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .130

The new James Bond film: . . . . . .132

World record: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .134

SKETCHES

The ticket inspector

Passenger: Ooh, are you a famous per-

son?

Inspector: (Flattered) Famous? Well, not

very (Back to normal) Sir, I

am a ticket inspector. I inspect

tickets. Are you going to show

me your ticket?

Passenger: No, I haven't got a ticket.

Inspector see.

(The ticket inspector puts his

hand into his pocket.)

Passenger: 'What are you going to do?

Inspector: I'm going to write your name

in my book.

Passenger: Oh

Inspector: What is your name, sir?

Passenger: Mickey Mouse,

(The inspector begins to

write.)

Inspector: Mickey

Passenger: Mouse. M-O-U-S-E.

(The inspector stops writing.)

Inspector: Your name, sir?

Passenger: Karl Marx? William

Shakespeare? Charles

Dickens?

Inspector: I see, sir. Well, if you're not

going to tell me your name,

please leave the train,

Passenger: Pardon?

Inspector: Leave the train.

Passenger: I can't.

Inspector: You can't what?

Passenger: I can't leave the train.

Inspector: Why not?

Passenger: It's moving,

Inspector: Not now, sir. At the next sta-

tion.

Passenger: Oh.

Inspector: It's in the book, sir. When you

travel by train, you buy a tick-

et, and if you don't buy a tick-

et, you

Passenger-Inspector: leave the train.

Inspector: Here we are, sir. We're coming

to a station. Please leave the

train now.

Passenger: Now?

Inspector: Yes, sir. I'm sorry, but

Passenger: Oh, that's OK.

Inspector: it's in the book, and what did

you say?

Passenger: I said: That's OK.'

Inspector: OK?

Passenger: Yes, this is my station.

Goodbye.

(The passenger leaves the

train.)

Scene : A compartment on a train

Characters: A passenger on a train, a

ticket inspector,a steward and

a waiter

The passenger is sitting in a compartment on

a train. He is reading a newspaper. The stew-

ard opens the door.

Steward: Coffee!

Passenger: No. thanks.

(The passenger closes the

door, and continues reading.

The waiter opens the door.)

Waiter: Seats for dinner!

Passenger: No, thanks.

(The passenger closes the

door again, and continues

reading. The ticket inspector

opens the door.)

Inspector: Tickets!

Passenger: No, thanks.

Inspector: Pardon?

Passenger: I don't want a ticket, thank

you.

Inspector: I'm not selling tickets, sir.

Passenger: No?

Inspector: No, I want to see your ticket.

Passenger: Oh, I haven't got a ticket.

Inspector: You haven't got a ticket?

Passenger: No. I never buy a ticket.

Inspector: Why not?

Passenger: Well, they are very expensive,

you know.

Inspector: Sir, you're travelling on a train.

When people travel on a train,

they always buy a ticket.

Passenger: Er

Inspector: And this is a first-class com-

partment.

Passenger: Yes, it is very nice, isn't it?

Inspector: No, sir. I mean: This is a first-

class compartment. When

people travel in a first-class

compartment, they always buy

a first-class ticket.

(They look at each other for a

moment.)

Passenger: No, they don't.

Inspector: What?

Passenger: A lot of people don't buy tick-

ets. The Queen doesn't buy a

ticket, does she' Eh? Eh?

Inspector: No, sir, but she's a famous

person.

Passenger: And what about you? Where's

yours?

Inspector: Mine?

Passenger: Yes, yours. Your ticket. Have

you got a ticket?

Inspector: Me, sir?

Passenger: Yes, you.

Inspector: No, I haven't got a ticket.

SKETCHES

Tea break

Tom: A lemon cake and a cream tea.

Jerry: Careful!

Tom: What do you want, Martin?

Martin: A whisky and soda.

Tom: With milk and sugar?

Martin: Of course.

(Tom wants to check the orders.)

Tom: OK. Let me get this right. Sara, you

want a cup of tea, with no milk and

no sugar.

Sara: Yes. Oh...No. On second thoughts, I

think I'd prefer coffee.

Tom: Coffee.

Sara: Yes, a cup of coffee - with milk and

sugar.

Tom: Right. So - it's one coffee with milk

and sugar, and one tea with milk and

sugar.

Jane: No sugar!

Tom: No sugar. Right. Jerry, you want a

lemon tea and a big cream cake.

Jerry: That's right.

Tom: And Martin - you want a whisky and

soda.

Martin: With milk and sugar.

Tom: With milk and sugar. Right. OK. See

you in a minute.

(Tom leaves. Very soon, he comes back.)

Tom: Right, Here you are. One coffee and

soda, one whisky and cream, one

lemon and milk, and one big sugar

cake. All right?

Jane: Martin?

Martin: Yes?

Jane: Go and make some tea.

Scene: A rehearsal room in a theatre

Characters: Five actors taking a tea break:

Tom, Jerry, Jane, Martin, Sara

Jerry: All right. That's enough. It's time for

a cup of tea.

Tom: Oh, good, A cup of tea. I can't wait.

(Jerry, Jane, Martin and Sara sit

down, there is no chair for Tom)

Jane: OK, Tom, make the tea

Tom: Me

Sara: Yes, make the tea.

Tom: Make the tea? Me?

Jane: Why not?

Tom: All right. What do I have to do? I

mean, how do you make tea?

Jerry: Huh! He doesn't know how to make

tea!

Tom: OK, Jerry. How do you make tea?

Jerry: Er...I don't know.

(The others laugh)

Martin: Listen, Tom - it's easy. Put some

water in the kettle.

Sara: Put the kettle on the stove.

Jane: Light a match.

Martin: Turn on the gas.

Sara: And light the gas.

Jane: Then put some tea in the teapot -

Tom: It sounds a bit complicated.

Jane: Oh, come on! It's easy!

Martin: Listen, Tom. You don't have to make

the tea.

Tom: Oh, good.

Martin: You can get some from the cafe.

Tom: Oh. OK. See you later.

(Tom goes towards the door.)

Jerry: Wait a minute!

Tom: What?

Jane: You don't know what we want yet.

Tom: Oh, yes. Sorry. What do you all

want? Sara?

Sara: I'd like a cup of tea - with no milk

and no sugar.

Tom: One tea - no milk, no sugar. Jane?

Jane: I'd like a cup of tea - with lots of milk

and no sugar.

Tom: Lots of milk - no tea Right.

Jane: No sugar!

Tom: No sugar. Right. Jerry?

Jerry: I'd like a lemon tea and a big cream

cake.

SKETCHES

The King of Boonland

King: Yes, here we are. Now, this is a map

of the world.

Guard: Yes.

King: And Boonland is here.

Guard: That is the Atlantic Ocean.

King: Yes - and Boonland is in the middle.

Guard: What? In the middle of the Atlantic?

King: Yes.

Guard: I don't believe you.

King: Eh?

Guard: I think you are trying to get into

Buckingham Palace.

King: That's right. I am.

Guard: Well, you can't.

King: Yes, I can. Wait a minute - I can

prove I'm the King of Boonland.

Look!

Guard: It's a five-pound note.

King: No, it's not five pounds.

Guard: Isn't it?

King: No, it's five boonos.

Guard: Five boonos?

King: Yes.

(The guard looks at the note.)

Guard: Oh, yes! Five boonos. So this is the

money you use in Boonland.

King: Yes, it is.

Guard: How many boonos are there in a

pound?

King: Half a million.

Guard: Half a million?

King: Yes, and there are one hundred

boonitos in a boono.

Guard: Now, listen to me -

King: Ah! I can prove I'm the King of

Boonland. There's a picture of me on

the one-boonito coin. Um...Have you

got change for ten boonitos?

Guard: No, I haven't!

King: Oh. It's all right. Look - one boonito

coin, with a picture of me on it.

Guard: Oh, yes. A picture of you. (The King

nods.)

Guard: Tell me - why do you want to go into

the Palace?

King: I am here to bring the Queen the

good wishes of the people of

Boonland.

Guard: The good wishes of the people of

Boonland?

King: Yes.

Guard: How many people are there in

Boonland?

King: Well, there's me, and my mother,

and -

Guard: No, No! All together! What's the

population of Boonland?

Scene: In front of Buckingham Palace

Characters: A guard, a sergeant, the King

of Boonland

The guard and the sergeant march to the

sentry-box.

Sergeant: Quick march! Left, right, left,

right, left, right, left, right!

Halt!... Right turn!. Bradshaw!

Guard: Sir!

Sergeant: You are guarding Buckingham

Palace.

Guard: Yes, sir!

Sergeant: Don't forget!

Guard: No, sir!

(The sergeant leaves. The guard

stands silently. The King of Boonland

comes up to the guard.)

King: Good morning...Hello!...Nice day,

isn't it?...Do you speak English?...

Sprechen Sie espanol?.I think he's

deaf. Oh, well...

(The King starts to go into the

Palace.)

Guard: Oh

King: Oh! He can talk!

Guard: Where are you going?

King: I'm going into Buckingham Palace.

Guard: Stand there!

King: I don't want to stand there. I want to

go in there.

Guard: Stand there!!

King: Oh, all right,

Guard: Who do you think you are?

King: I'm Fred, King of Boonland.

Guard: Well, listen to me, Fred King -

King: No, no, my name isn't Fred King. I

am King Fred.

Guard: Are you trying to tell me that you

are a real king?

King: Yes. I am the King of Boonland

Guard: Boonland?

King: Yes

Guard: And where exactly is Boonland?

King: Huh! You don't know where

Boonland is?

Guard: No.

King: Oh. OK, look at my map...

(The King finds his map.)

SKETCHES

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