-- Chapter 6 - May I have this dance part 5 --
Zero awoke slowly. Residual memories of dreams still swirled around his mind and he tried to hold on to them until full consciousness chased them away. He opened his eyes to see sunlight streaming in from his window. Closing his eyes again, he flipped onto his back.
It was Sunday morning and he was reluctant to get up. The memory of last night’s dance with Yuuki, and their kiss afterwards was still fresh in his mind and had fueled his heated dreams last night.
Finally, Zero sighed and got out of bed. He couldn’t quite shake the feeling that Yuuki was going to regret it this morning and he knew the slight feeling of apprehension he felt was due to that. He didn’t have any regrets over the kiss and he could understand, well sort of understand anyway, why she’d let him kiss her – last night had been nothing short of… magical. He paused for a long moment, lost in his thoughts. Finally, he grabbed his towel and went off to the bathroom to shower. Zero didn’t meet either Yuuki nor the Chairman on his way.
Yuuki had awakened earlier than Zero and there was a happy smile on her face as she opened her eyes… until the memories of last night’s dance rushed into her consciousness. Sitting up, she hugged her knees as she closed her eyes and relieved each memory separately, from the awed look on Zero’s face that chased away his frown when he saw her in her dress, to the shattering words he’d said on the way to the hall that almost ruined the evening – she ignored the sudden prick of tears at the back of her eyes - to each of the succeeding dance she had – here she smiled and pursed her lips alternately – until the most memorable dance of all – here she smiled a small, tender smile at the memory of Zero laughing although it still galled her a little about what the others must have thought, him laughing at her - and finally, how it had all ended right outside her door.
Yuuki’s smile faded and she leant her chin on her arms, frowning a little and staring unseeingly at her bare toes. It had seemed the perfect way to end a wondrous evening… and she didn’t necessarily regret that it happened… at least she didn’t think she did… but what did that kiss mean? Exactly? And… what was Zero’s thoughts on it, kissing her in that unbrotherly fashion? And what did he think of her most unsisterly reaction? Or had he already forgotten about the entire thing?
Yuuki buried her blushing face in her hands, suddenly unwilling to face Zero. It was another five minutes before she forced herself to get out of bed – she wasn’t going to spend a lovely Sunday lazing about in bed after all…
Zero dropped off his towel in his room and ran impatient fingers through his damp hair before walking to the kitchen. He stopped short in the doorway - Yuuki was sitting at the kitchen table, dressed in a plain white T-shirt and long jeans skirt, chin propped in one hand as she absently traced small circles on the table’s plastic surface with her finger. A half eaten sandwich on a plate lay forgotten beside her elbow.
She looked up, startled when she realised someone was there and blushed furiously when she saw it was Zero, looking down at the table again almost immediately. It didn’t take a genius to realise that Yuuki was also thinking about last night’s kiss and worse, she was embarrassed as hell about it.
Zero sought to dispel the sudden awkward silence. “Hey…” he said casually, walking to the counter and reaching for a mug. He noticed she didn’t have a cup in front of her. “Want some coffee?” he asked.
Yuuki was still staring at the table. “Uh… no… thank you…” she mumbled.
Zero forced himself to finish making his coffee before walking over to place his steaming mug on the table, conscious of Yuuki tensing suddenly as he neared her. He hesitated then laid a hand on her shoulder. “Yuuki…” It was as if his touch contained an electric charge – Yuuki jumped up, bumping the table’s edge and causing Zero’s coffee to splash on the table. They both ignored the spill.
Zero frowned. “Yuuki, please…”
Yuuki flung up a hand, stopping his words although she was still looking at the floor. “I – I have to go, I’m late for… for…” she stumbled over her words, belatedly realising it was Sunday and they’d completed all their chores yesterday. For once, she didn’t even have homework as an excuse. Shit…
Zero stood in front of her, his mind a complete blank. Finally, he reached out to hold her shoulders, shaking her slightly. “Yuuki, relax…” She stopped, her breathing quick and shallow and her shoulders tense under his hands. “Look at me…” he said softly.
Yuuki raised her head slowly, still blushing. Her large brown eyes had a wary, uncertain look. Zero took a deep breath. ‘About last night…” he started, breaking off suddenly as he realised how horribly cliché the words sounded. Oh God…
Yuuki gave another gasp and twisted free of his hands. “I – I don’t want to talk about it!” she gasped out, then ran out of the kitchen, leaving a stunned Zero staring after her. He started to go after her but stopped himself - perhaps Yuuki needed some time alone.
Rather deflated, he sat down at the kitchen table, getting up a second later to grab some kitchen paper to wipe up the spilled coffee. His appetite had completely disappeared but he picked up Yuuki’s half eaten sandwich and ate it anyway, washing it down with his coffee.
He couldn’t find her anywhere after that. The Chairman had gone to the hall to take a look at the cleaning before leaving the Academy to settle all outstanding caterers and decorators bills for the dance. Zero even peeped in Yuuki’s room but it was empty. The gold dress she’d worn last night was thrown over her desk chair and it brought last night’s dance rushing back to Zero again… how close he’d held her when they’d danced, how he’d stumbled over his explanation, and - again blushing furiously at the memory - how she’d been… amused at his body’s involuntary reaction but sweetly accepting it all the same. But most of all, how she’d allowed him to kiss her and the wondering look on her face after that.
Zero groaned, leaning against the wall before dragging his hands through his hair. He was sure she’d enjoyed the kiss but why was she avoiding him now? Was it because she’d kissed a vampire? But so was Kuran… the other guy in her life… Could it be she was afraid of him now? The notion was so laughable that Zero couldn’t help a wry twist of his lips. How could Yuuki be afraid of a mere kiss when she hadn’t bat an eye over all the times he’d drunk her blood? When she’d seen him with bloodlust in his eyes and lips stained with her own blood? When she’d seen him sink razor sharp fangs into her wrist? No, she couldn’t possibly be afraid of him…
Pushing off the wall, he left her room, wandering over the campus grounds, rather absently ticking off a couple of Day Class girls who were taking advantage of his and Yuuki’s absence by trying to climb over the Moon Dorm walls, despite the fact it was only mid-morning.
Zero even strode up the hill overlooking the lake but there were only a group of Day Class girls sitting there, chatting excitedly and giggling - he didn’t need to hear the words to know they could only be talking about last night’s dance. When they noticed his presence, he escaped, striding quickly off before he heard anything about him and Yuuki.
Finally, he stopped by the stables at the other end of Cross Academy. The stable hand was there and Zero paused to stroke White Lily’s nose as she whickered softly and stretched down her head to nudge his jeans pocket. “Sorry” he murmured to her. “I’ll bring sugar next time, OK?”
A slight movement outside the stables caught his eye and patting a rather disappointed White Lily a final time, he walked towards the exit, catching Yuuki’s scent in the slight breeze before he even saw her. She was sitting on a patch of grass, leaning back against the stable wall, crossed arm resting on her bent knees as she gazed out at a corner of the lake visible from this side.
Zero hesitated, wondering if she’d run away this time but he couldn’t stand not having her talk to him. It was strange… he was a person of few words, even to Yuuki, but most weekends, they would spend together, either in the study room, or watching TV together, or even patrolling together. And he missed that, even though it’d only been a couple of hours since he found her in the kitchen this morning.
He paused at the door of the stables and tapped his knuckles lightly on the doorframe. Yuuki swung around, startled. Seeing Zero there, she blushed again and pursed her lips in vexation. She didn’t say anything but swung around to face the lake again.
Well, Yuuki still staying there and not fleeing was a slight improvement - Zero didn’t relish the idea of chasing Yuuki all over the school grounds like an idiot, particularly when half the students had seen them slow dancing together…
Cautiously, he stepped out now and lowered himself slowly onto the grass beside her on her right, careful not to touch her. He bent his right leg and rested his right elbow on it, looking out at the lake. Yuuki didn’t say anything but she shifted slightly, giving him more room.
They sat there in silence for a couple of minutes, leaning back against the stable walls, listening to familiar sounds coming from within the stables, the soft whinnies of the horses and the familiar sounds that the stable hand made as he went about his chores, talking to the horses and feeding them.
Yuuki continued gazing at the lake, seemingly determined not to start talking.
Finally, Zero blew out a sigh. “Yuuki…are you angry with me?” he asked quietly, turning to face her.
Yuuki shook her head slowly from side to side, still resting it on the wall. She still didn’t look at him.
Zero sighed in relief. “Look at me, Yuuki” he said firmly. She hesitated, then glanced up at him. The wary uncertain look was still in her eyes and he didn’t know what to say to make it go away and make Yuuki smile at him in her carefree and affectionate way again.
“Was it that bad?” he asked finally, his voice almost a whisper. He was quite sure it hadn’t been but perhaps he’d been mistaken, after all, it was his first time as well..
A pause.
“No…” Yuuki said in a very low voice. Then she sighed and twisted around to look at him properly. Zero waited with bated breath.
For a moment, Yuuki almost smiled at the uncertain look on his face. Then she took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a moment as if gathering her thoughts.
“Zero…” she said, pausing to catch her lower lip with her small teeth and making Zero suddenly long to kiss her again. She shrugged helplessly. “I’m not angry with you… and the kiss wasn’t bad… at all… but I… I…” she broke off to shrug again. “I feel… I don’t know, confused… I guess…”
Zero knew she was speaking the truth and it hit him then, like a ton of bricks, what Yuuki thought about this. The words she’d spoken back in the café sounded again in his mind – she regarded him as a brother only.
Well – it was only to be expected, wasn’t it? Zero groaned silently as he bent forward and rested his forehead in his hand for a moment. What had he expected, that she would fall into his arms as soon as she saw him this morning and confess her undying love for him?! Get real, Kiriyu…!
“Hey Zero, you OK?” Yuuki asked. She got up on her knees to place a hand tentatively on his shoulder. Zero looked up and she started to pull back her hand but quickly, he placed his own over it, trapping her hand. He took her hand off his shoulder but continued to hold it. Yuuki started to pull her hand back again, then paused.
They looked at each other for a long moment, reading the confusion and uncertainty in each other’s eyes before Zero finally spoke. “Do you regret… that it happened?” he asked in a low voice, wondering what he’d do if she said yes.
Yuuki hesitated, her eyes mirroring her conflict as she struggled briefly between honesty and… and… heaven only knew what else. Finally, she exhaled softly. “No…” she said, her voice very soft.
Zero exhaled as well and dropped his head for a second in relief.
“But…”
His head jerked up again. Yuuki was biting her lip again, a faint blush still on her cheeks.
“But… it – it didn’t mean anything… did it?” she asked, her eyes staring straight at him, innocently enquiring.
Zero inhaled sharply, feeling like he’d been stabbed through the heart.
It didn’t mean anything? It… didn’t… mean… anything…?!
He was speechless for a moment as he stared at her, eyes filled with pain. Yuuki was shocked, she hadn’t expected a few words to cause such a reaction from Zero.
“Zero, I – I don’t mean…”
Zero took a deep breath then shook his head. Yuuki paused. It was his turn now to struggle between being honest and wanting to set Yuuki’s mind at ease. She continued to regard him silently, reading the emotions playing across his face while she waited for him to speak.
Finally, Zero decided on a compromise and sighed. “It meant a lot to me, Yuuki…” he told her evenly, holding her gaze. She gasped softly and tried to pull her hand back once more. He tightened his grip.
“Yuuki…” he continued “It was my first kiss and with my closest friend. How could it not mean anything?” His heart constricted even as he said the words, knowing they were only half true but knowing at the same time that now wasn’t the right time to be completely honest.
Yuuki relaxed, allowing her hand to remain in his. His intense gaze was still making her blush but his words were comforting and she smiled tentatively at him. “Well, of course, it meant a lot to me too, Zero…” she said softly.
The words brought a bittersweet ache to Zero, but it was still better than having Yuuki being wary of him and avoiding him…
“Come here…” he said and released her hand to pull her into his arms. Yuuki flung her arms around Zero’s neck, very relieved now, and almost knocking him back against the stable wall. All the doubts and confusion that had been swirling around in her mind vanished at Zero’s words and she didn’t want to think any further why she had a slight nagging feeling that Zero meant to say much more than he had. But it was OK now, he’d said it was a kiss between close friends so that must be it…
Zero closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Yuuki. He could feel the slight trembling of relief in her so he didn’t say anymore, just held her tight and breathed in her soft sweet scent, relieved that things between them were back to normal… well, somewhat… and regretful that it hadn’t turned out exactly as he’d wanted it to.
Finally, Yuuki pulled away and he released her, hands still on her shoulders. Yuuki looked at him. “I’m hungry” she said solemnly.
“What?”
“I’m hungry. I didn’t finish my breakfast earlier…”
“Me too. I only had your half-eaten sandwich, you know..” It was time they headed back anyway, the Chairman should’ve been back from town by now.
Zero got up and dusted off the seat of his jeans before reaching down to pull Yuuki to her feet.
“Really? You ate that…?”
“Yeah… and why do you always have to put so much jam…?”
Yuuki laughed, relieved they’d started bantering again. “Silly, that’s why my sandwiches always taste better than yours!” she teased, wrinkling her nose at him. They both started down the hill leading back to the main building, Zero hooking his thumbs in his jeans pockets.
Yuuki started humming to herself. It was the last song played last night and the one they’d danced to when they’d held each other close.
“Hey, Yuuki…” said Zero, unable to help himself.
“Hmm?”
“You really looked beautiful last night…”
“Really?” Yuuki smiled delightedly, then she sighed and casually linked her arm through Zero’s, causing his heart to skip a beat. “I had a fabulous time, you know… but -”
“But what?”
“I think I enjoyed our dance the best” she said, large brown eyes serious.
Zero raised his eyebrow at her, sudden happiness surging through him. Well, imagine that - eat my dust, Kuran!
“But only because it was the most… enlightening… one…”
There was a second’s pause then Yuuki burst into peals of delighted laughter at the look of sudden chagrin and blush on Zero’s face. She broke away and started running away down the hill, squealing a moment later as he growled “C’mere you…!” and started chasing after her.
-- Chapter End --
BiJooMin