Using NLP on Yourself - 18 - Emotional Mastery Transcript.pdf - Michael Breen - NLP Times - Using NLP On Yourself - forex7

Emotional Mastery

How to manage your state

Teleseminar transcript

Tom: Hello, everyone. It's Tom here, from NLP Times, and welcome to tonight's

teleseminar "Emotional Mastery‐‐ How to Manage Your State", presented by

master trainer Michael Breen.

Of all the ways the person can use the technology of NLP to better their life,

learning to better manage your emotions is surely one of the highest leverage

practices you can do. Everything starts and ends with state; with the right

emotions all kinds of things become possible, and in the wrong state certain

resources are blocked. Therefore tonight, Michael is going to review some of the

fundamentals of state mastery, and share with you the strategies and insights on

how you can become highly effective with managing your state, no matter what

seems to be going on in your external environment. So, welcome Michael.

Michael: Hello there, Tom. How are you?

Tom: I'm great. How are you doing tonight?

Michael: Very well, thank you. Looking forward to this evening.

Tom: Good. Okay, so let's start off with the big path, Michael, which is, what are

some of the essential things the listeners on the call should know in order to be

able to manage their state effectively.

Michael: Essential things. Okay. Well, let's start with some definitions and some

principles, just to make sure that everybody is in the same area before we start

talking about techniques and how to be all things. And I'm sure people have got

questions. It is this question around emotions and learning to work with them.

One of the most common things that people bring up, first and foremost, when

we're talking about emotions and states from an NLP point of view, a state‐‐

remember‐‐is the combination of the stuff that's going on on the inside‐‐the kind

of pictures that you're making, the kind of way that you're talking to yourself,

and all the other internal representational things‐‐plus what you're doing with

your body. That includes everything from how you're using your body, the

posture, the kinds of gestures, the quality of that irrelative tension in the

muscles, how you use your voice, your breathing, all those other aspects. Those

two things together are what we're talking about when we're talking about state.

Now, when we talk about emotions, emotions are not a mystical something that

just happens. They're not like a cloud that floats over your head and just

descends on you. Emotions are a reaction to perceived events, or perceived

situations. They come out from how we interpret what's going on around us. So

in that sense, they are reactive. They're not primary experiences as such. We may

have feelings and considerations about the emotions that we feel, but they're not

in themselves primary. And of course, the proviso that goes along with this, is,

we're talking about somebody who's in good health, but they don't have any, you

know, brain disorders or any physiological disorder that actually causes

misplaced emotions as it were.

So, if emotions being reactive in that way, they also are very, very personal. Both

the triggers for the emotions, and the reactions are personal. They're not in the

environment. They're not even in other people. Think about it. This is that

quintessential experience of two people getting into an elevator, and one of them

is just standing there checking their watch while things are going on. And

another person gets in, and they're nervous. And as the doors close, they (gasps)

take a short, deep breath in, and the twitch. And the two people are in the same

circumstance and in the same situation.

Let's say the elevator stops between floors. Well, the one person‐‐the first

person‐‐just looks at their watch and says, "Damn, I'm gonna be late". And the

other person starts saying, "The walls! The walls! They're closing in!" The two

people are going into exactly the same situation, but they have a very different

emotional response.

So, the triggers and the reactions are not in the environment; they're in each of

us. And this will become important later on when we start talking about ways

and means of modifying your state, changing your state, and then dealing with

habituated emotions. And emotions are just like any other behaviors, they can

become habituated. You can develop a nasty habit of being easy to arouse, you

know, easy to wind up. And "bad emotions", or good emotions are habitual just

like any other thing. You can work with them, you can cultivate them, you can

end certain kinds of emotional responses, and you can deal with the kinds of

things that come up unexpectedly, but those are matters of preparation or

practice. And we'll talk about those in a little while.

I suppose the final thing that I should say about that is that quite often when you

read about, or when you hear emotions talked about, there's a lot of metaphor,

analogy, imagery diffused, in talking about the emotions. So, for example, in the

NLP world there are some people who talk about what they call meta‐states.

These are states about states; being afraid of your fear. Unfortunately, the way

that our nervous system and the meat‐body is hooked up, we don't have facility

to actually have a separate area for a state that's about another state. There's

nothing in the neurology or in the physiology that would hold a meta‐state. Meta‐

states are a way of talking about, rather than actually how a human being works.

In the same way, like in the name, Neuro‐linguistic programming, this notion of

programming, of systemic and systematic process, which can be mapped out, it's

an image, it's a metaphor. The notion of computer programming, which

sometimes people try and bring to NLP, you know, push a button emotions, and

push button other people, it's an idea and a concept, and not how things are.

Somebody was asking me the other day, they were saying that if they put in a

control panel into their head, would they be able to then invariably and

automatically be able to control their emotions with a push of a button. And in

talking with this person, it became clear that they didn't get that control panel‐‐

which was something that Richard talked about when he was working with

design human engineering‐‐is a metaphor, a context for change. These

metaphors, these contexts, they're intermediary ideas, not primary, not reality.

You use intermediary forms and ideas insofar as you need them in order to help

somebody to do something different. But in terms of the reality, there ain't no

control panel in your head. It's a thought. It's an idea. And then we train to those

ideas.

So, I think that that probably gives a pretty fair bracket into which we can fit

before we go on to the cool stuff. Any specific questions you've got about that,

Tom?

Tom: No. Just a question, one that comes up when I'm listening to you now,

Michael, is that, so what you're really highlighting is in terms of the actual

emotion itself is more an end of a process, rather than something that happens

out of the blue, to us a human beings.

Michael: Indeed. Indeed. It's reactive. The emotions are reactive. Something else

has to occur first.

And the other thing, we'd like to know stuff. We like to think that we've got a

control, or hold, over the world; the world is very uncertain, there's potential

threats. And so, whether we're talking about scientists, or psychologists, or

sociologists, or New‐Agers, or NLPers, everybody likes to make up narratives,

and maps, that create a spurious sense of knowing in order to avoid the emotion

of fear that sometimes goes along with not knowing.

For us, all of the maps that we're going to use with regards to emotions, are

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