{1283}{1313}{Y:i}Greece. {1366}{1427}{Y:i}People come here from all over {1492}{1539}{Y:i}to see the ancient ruins. {1602}{1649}{Y:i}To bask in history. {1702}{1794}{Y:i}To be a part of the birthplace|of civilization. {1838}{1917}{Y:i}People reconnect with their souls. {1942}{1991}{Y:i}They find their mojo. {2114}{2167}{Y:i}In Greece, it's called kefi, {2171}{2285}{Y:i}which means "passion, joy, spirit." {2370}{2397}{Y:i}Late! {2427}{2465}Goodbye, Genaki. {2495}{2566}In a week.|That window's stuck again. {2569}{2645}{Y:i}- Bravo. Where is the rent?|- I left it on the trapesi. {2821}{2928}{Y:i}Now, me, I love the beauty|and architecture of ancient Greece. {2958}{3025}{Y:i}But living in modern Greece|can be a bit frustrating. {3054}{3103}{Y:i}Sometimes things go fast. {3152}{3188}{Y:i}Most times, {3255}{3292}{Y:i}not so much. {3307}{3381}{Y:i}I came here a year ago to teach|at Athens University. {3383}{3493}{Y:i}Cutbacks left me without a job.|So now, for now, {3511}{3558}{Y:i}I work at Pangloss Tours. {3561}{3590}Georgia! {3600}{3654}{Y:i}Oh, yeah. I've hit rock bottom. {3818}{3884}Georgia. Again you cut out beach day. {3899}{3949}They can go to the beach in any country. {3951}{4024}On my tour,|I teach them about ancient architecture. {4026}{4082}Nobody comes to Greece to learn. {4094}{4140}Maria, I disagree. {4272}{4338}- It's open.|- You didn't get the job. {4465}{4511}Don't you read the evaluations? {4514}{4590}"What do you think of Georgia|as tour director?" {4593}{4679}"Average. Average. Average." {4682}{4718}So I'm average. {4721}{4768}Average is the lowest box you can check. {4770}{4818}Do you think we have|something that says, "Stinks"? {4821}{4877}And if we did, you'd be stinks. {4879}{4961}- "I find your tour boring."|- My tourists are boring. {4969}{5010}I think I've guided, like, 34 tours {5013}{5085}and you give me the same tourists|over and over again. {5087}{5174}Look! There they are.|The Tipsy Australians. {5210}{5284}- The Obnoxious Americans.|- It's called "rip-off." {5314}{5362}The Miserable Marriages. {5382}{5464}The Disgusted-With-Men-|But-Still-Looking Divorcees. {5490}{5560}- Stop!|- And, of course, The Old People. {5572}{5624}- I don't see Mr. Funny.|- Who? {5637}{5738}There's always one annoying guy|who thinks he's the life of the party. {5767}{5856}Canadians. Polite Canadians. {5858}{5889}- Can I have them?|- No. {5892}{5941}They're in Group A. Nico's group. {5944}{6005}Why does Nico|always get the good group? {6008}{6068}His evaluations don't say, "Average." {6106}{6133}God! {6153}{6242}By the way,|Spiros eloped with that girl with no foot. {6250}{6300}- Excellent.|- Why? {6302}{6387}- I'm being sarcastic.|- You're not funny. Stop trying. {6404}{6486}- Who's my driver? Not Themio.|- Relax. He's in jail. {6493}{6549}You got the substitute. Procopi. {6558}{6611}The creepy, hairy, creepy guy? {6630}{6684}He's right behind me, isn't he? {6774}{6849}- Does he speak English?|- I don't know if he speaks anything. {6852}{6917}Maybe they caught a bear.|Taught it to drive. {6965}{7022}So I have rules. You cannot speed, {7024}{7101}you cannot smoke|and you cannot eat while driving. {7212}{7269}Great, he doesn't speak English. {7276}{7325}Don't forget to brush him. {7336}{7432}- Maria! Maria!|- Nico! Nico! {7501}{7565}Hey, thank you for my group, eh? Whoa! {7577}{7634}He bribes you for the good group? {7637}{7666}- No.|- Yes. {7684}{7707}Oh. {7906}{7986}{Y:i}That girl. That girl has no kefi. {7998}{8058}What Greek does not have spirit, eh? {8094}{8128}Maybe she's half Greek. {8130}{8218}This was supposed to be temporary while|she looked for some big-shot teaching job. {8221}{8304}And now no one will hire her|and I am stuck with her. {8306}{8421}Hey, if I make her quit, can I have a raise? {8431}{8493}I don't want to know about it. Yes. {8669}{8745}- Group B! Group B, everyone.|- Hey! {8747}{8842}Group B, hello, I'm Georgia.|Welcome to Greece. I'm your tour guide. {8845}{8896}I'm Irv Giddeon, {8898}{8970}and I've come here to see|as many ancient ruins as possible. {8973}{9057}And judging from your husband,|the trip is already a success. {9152}{9209}There you are! And, indeed, funny. {9245}{9285}I'm killing me. {9288}{9347}How many of you, like me, have come here {9350}{9421}to fondle as many nude statues|as possible? {9423}{9488}- Half the reason I came.|- Get your hand down. {9490}{9594}Jeez. This is comedy.|The Greeks invented it. {9611}{9665}It's like mustaches on women. {9706}{9822}You know, we left Adelaide last night|with 17 pounds of frozen flake. {9825}{9869}Thirty hours later, she's right on the bugle. {9871}{9927}I'm giving it liquid yawns in the dunnies. {9930}{9966}- It was a shocker, Barry.|- Yeah. {9969}{10043}- Are they speaking words?|- Australians are the nicest people, {10046}{10100}but you can only understand|about half of what they say. {10102}{10169}...a bad case of the trots|of last night's tucker. {10172}{10225}It's the last time I ate fish. {10270}{10351}Excuse me. Is this Pangloss Tours? {10371}{10402}Group B? {10412}{10502}Sweet marble cake, she speaks American.|Come on, get it up now. {10505}{10551}Okay. Ha-ha! {10561}{10625}- Okay, everybody, let's get on the bus.|- Oh, yes. {10627}{10690}Okay, Group B, got your tickets?|Follow me. {10924}{10953}Spooky. {10984}{11103}Okay. Now make sure that your luggage|is tagged and the driver will stow it. {11119}{11168}- Okay, you got me.|- Sorry. {11170}{11269}- That's okay. Dr. Tullen?|- Oh, no, no. I'm Mr., that's... {11272}{11354}I am Dr. Tullen.|And this is our daughter, Caitlin. {11357}{11397}- Do smile, darling.|- I am. {11399}{11478}Hey, big fellow, how many bells|have you got on the old dickory? {11481}{11529}What the hell? What the hell is he saying? {11531}{11612}Oh, wake up, Australia.|He wants to know what time it is. {11614}{11645}- See, if it's...|- Here you go. {11648}{11725}...10 hours ahead here,|then that would make it... {11732}{11784}Kimmy, what time is it back in the States? {11786}{11851}- The right time.|- Good one, Kimmy. {11857}{11928}Kim and Al Sawchuck. S-A-W-Chuck. {11930}{11970}- Come on, Al. Come on, Big Al.|- AI Sawchuck. How are you? {11973}{11999}- Okay. How are you?|- Let's go, Big Al. {12002}{12087}Okay, there you go. There you go. {12129}{12182}There's no smoking on the bus. {12307}{12357}- I have a question.|- Yeah. {12370}{12418}What's with the beekeeper? {12430}{12492}My wife needs protection from the sun. {12494}{12546}But we're not going to the sun. {12578}{12656}That man is so rude. Make it stop. {12805}{12865}Excuse me, ladies. Hey, there. {12874}{12921}I'm Marc Mallard. IHOP. {12924}{12993}That's the International House|of Pancakes. {13011}{13055}Did one of you lose this? {13068}{13146}Thank you, Marc. I must have dropped it. {13186}{13239}It looks like a raspberry waffle. {13242}{13326}- Or a tart.|- Or a tart. {13335}{13458}Hi. I'm Lena Mar�a Angustias|Teresa Fern�ndez de la Vega Rodr�guez. {13461}{13494}And she's Lala Cruz. {13496}{13541}{Y:i}- We're from Espa�a.|- Really? {13543}{13570}- Yeah.|- Yeah. {13573}{13658}- And we are both recently divorced.|- And off men. {13678}{13702}Hmm. {13729}{13782}Hi. I'm Marc Mallard. IHOP. {13785}{13857}Hello. Georgia Yanokoupolis.|Pangloss Tours. {13884}{13940}- I'll see you on the bus.|- Okay. {13986}{14041}Group B? Yes. Names. {14088}{14146}You don't speak English, do you? {14162}{14210}And Maria gave you to me. {14265}{14331}Luggage this way.|And then you get on the bus. {14334}{14401}- Excuse me. I'm looking for the bus.|- Yeah. {14426}{14479}- This is it.|- Group B? {14514}{14557}- Oh, cool.|- Okay. {14566}{14618}Hey, Gator Phillips. {14621}{14733}- I'm from Florida, the States.|- You're traveling alone? {14744}{14829}No way, man.|I'm gonna meet my girlfriend in Greece. {14842}{14890}- We are in Greece.|- Now? {14942}{15014}Right on. Thanks, man. {15025}{15082}- Okay, here you go.|- Is this free? {15084}{15111}- Yeah.|- Whoa! {15237}{15302}{Y:i}Kalimera, everyone.|That's Greek for, "Good morning." {15305}{15390}Hello, beautiful people. I am Nico. {15393}{15462}{Y:i}For you, warm loucoumades. {15473}{15545}Oh, I'm so sorry. Wrong bus. {15586}{15642}- Hey, wait a minute...|- What the hell? Where's our donuts? {15645}{15668}What a rip! {15671}{15764}I'm gonna get... I could get you some later,|maybe. I'll look around. {15766}{15790}- Yeah...|- We should get something. {15818}{15841}Let's go. {15862}{15917}I mean, who needs the carbs, right? {15919}{15985}Not me. My ankles swell from the wheat. {16033}{16122}Okay, you might want to write this down. {16146}{16251}In 1834, Athens became|the capital of modern Greece. {16266}{16361}Now, I'm not just a tour guide.|I am a professor of classical history. {16364}{16402}Oh, great!|Are we gonna have a test now? {16405}{16472}So I'm going to teach you|all about the architecture {16474}{16522}and monuments of ancient Greece. {16525}{16595}- Like the propylea.|- Which is the word for donuts. {16694}{16753}- My name is Georgia.|- Louder, please. {16756}{16811}- My name is Georgia.|- Yes, dear. {16820}{16875}I'm Dorcas, Dorcas Wilmore. {16888}{16946}And this is my husband, Barnaby. {16954}{17037}Oh, I've got everyone a little souvenir. {17047}{17109}- To remember our trip together.|- All right. {17112}{17187}- Oh, you shouldn't have.|- This must have cost you a shload. {17190}{17236}Oh, no, it was nothing. {17242}{17309}Hand those around, would you, dear? {17339}{17410}Guide, this bus is really stuffy. {17413}{17498}- My daughter, Caitlin, needs fresh air.|- Okay, no problem. {17626}{17649}Uh-oh. {17752}{17801}- Turn it off!|- Oh, my God! {17902}{17943}Smells like death. {18012}{18051}Sorry about that. {18054}{18099}- Angie?|- It's Georgia. {18102}{18181}Is the Sasquatch gonna be|with us the whole time? {181...
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