Notes-Xuma_approaching.doc

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~                             means it contains some personal notes or conclusions made by me, you can replaces them with your own

xxx                             means that this is an active part of this workbook, you replace those XXX with answers of your own

"Quotes"               means it’s a transcribtion directly from the audio

[5]                            is a rating of how usefull I've found the particular audio segment to ME, replaces this with your own rating for further referencing, re-listening to the system

{5}                            is a rating of how usefull I've found the particular reading segment to ME, replaces this with your own rating for further referencing, re-listening to the system

nonquote   regular, non-quoted text is ussually a summary of the points made in the particular audio segment

 

 

In this set we will go thru, ALL that you need to know to feel competent and confident in approaching any woman in any situation.

 

The McDonald's example! [1:10] [5] {0}

 

Cathaxis [1:45àà] [9] {0}

 

CATHEXIS: 1. Concentration or investment of

mental or emotional energy on one particular

person, idea, or object - 2. Charge of psychic

energy so invested

 

The shaolin monks example [2:30àà] [0] {0}

 

The monks discipline [3:43àà][9] {0}

 

Poke at this board for hundreds of days, poke it, and poke it,  and poke it more each day... and more and more... and each and every day keep at it, until one day, you can just poke at the board and create a hole in it!!

 

And then next time you do it in 50 days, and then in 20 days, then in maybe just 5 strokes!

 

TRACK 2 - The five phases of an approacher [0:00] [9] {0}

 

 

! Phase 1 Approacher - totally anxious,

takes a miracle (or alcohol) to approach

women - Need to do some heavy work

on self-image/confidence . (Review “Secrets

of the Alpha Man.”) Approach

carefully, avoid cold contacts until your

confidence is raised.

 

! Phase 2 Approacher - some anxiety,

can eventually take action, but still

pretty nervous. Stay in a warm market

until you improve to a Phase 3-5. Approach

regularly, memorize approaches

and conversational tools.

 

! Phase 3 Approacher - Minimal anxiety,

but needs more guidance in technical

ability. Usually approaches, but occasionally

reluctant. Work on your skills,

take inventory. Is it a lack of ability?

Find your weakness and develop it into

your strength.

 

"Has minimal anxiety, but needs more guidance and technical ability. This approacher should work on his skills, he should take a cold-hearted look at his skills. Just find the skills and develop them. And we will pinpoint those in this set"

 

! Phase 4 Approacher - minimal anxiety,

has great game, enjoys the approach,

will approach "convenient" targets.

Works in all markets. Watch out

for burnout.

 

! Phase 5 Approacher - No anxiety,

great game, approaches women everywhere

possible, including going way out

of his way to meet them. No fear! Again,

work all markets, but watch out for

burnout.

 

 

[4:55àà] THE GOAL (make it like putting on the socks in the morning), you want your CNS to feel the same?

 

TRACK 3 – A.I.M intro [0:00] [2] {0}

 

A.I.M. = Approach Introduction Model

Study The Rules of Engagement

 

TRACK 4 – A.I.Mno rejection [0:00] [7] {9}

 

2) Accept that there is no such thing as rejection

 

[0:30àà] [2] {0} Everything you think is just based on how you think about it, rollercoaster metaphor

 

TRACK 5 – Well groomed, clothed, fit, positive [0:00] [7] {9}

 

3) Get yourself together. Exercise, eat right.

Accept only a healthy, positive lifestyle.

 

She will be on her guard against the guys who don't have these things taken care of.

 

TRACK 6 – Well groomed, clothed, fit, positive [0:00] [10] {9}

1) Prepare - Prepare - Prepare

 

You MUST do some preparation before you do your approaches. Now it is possible to go out and just do it cold, spontaneuous and right off the cuff... that is the goal you're aiming for. But chances are right now you have to do some memorization, getting some material under your belt, before you feel confident going into a situation.

-          Adapt the material to YOU, to own this stuff, change the wording slightly so you can deliver it

-          The best approaches are the ones you invent based on your solid understanding of technique you get in this model

 

-          Like learning a language, or kung fu... you learn moves and more moves and more moves (words), until at one point you can just combine them spontaneously!

 

-          Or that sucessfull people are those that are the most flexible, they have the most alternative STUFF in their heads, ways of doing things etc... by learning as many of these as possible (mastering them), you will be able to eventually just wing it on the spot (like learning pebbles?)

 

-          READ pop-culture.

 

TRACK 7 – Rapport, trust, comfort [3] {x}

 

[1:39àà] – ultimate goal, improvisation... [10] {9}

 

15) Improvisation is your ultimate goal. You

will be a Level 4 or 5 approacher when you

have memorized the material given, invented

your own, honed your presentation,

and can invent things on the fly.

 

TRACK 8 – Calibration [4] {4}

 

-          You must become aware

-          But not hyper-sensitive

-          Just situationally aware

 

6) Calibrate: You must be attuned to her

both mentally and physically. Not Hyperattentive!

But pay attention to signals. Adjust

as necessary.

 

TRACK 9 – the right attitude [0:00] [5] {9}

 

4) Get your head on straight. The right attitude

is absolutely critical to your development.

 

"99% of the time when she "rejects" you, or is "unresponsive", its because of HER, and not you, coz both me and you know, if she really knew you, she'd love you. Most of the time unfortunately we ASSume it's US. DO REMEMBER the 99+% percentage, it's USSUALY because of the man making a flawed approach, and the woman making a faulty ASSumption based on it. That's why it's important to have a good grasp of how you present yourself :)

 

If, you really believe that the woman who is not showing interest in you is just making a faulty and subjective interpretation then it's easy to just adjust your presentation!!

 

[2:51àà] – 100 years ago analogy [7] {9}

 

 

TRACK 10 – no one can make you feel inferrior [0:00] [8] {2}

 

FROM NOW ON YOU DON'T GRANT THAT PERMISSION!

 

TRACK 11 – growing pains are NECCESSARY [0:00] [8] {2}

 

"They accepted that there will be pain involved in learning this, and ACCEPTED it, and did it anyway"

 

TRACK 12 – QUALIFY [0:00] [10] {2}

 

5) Qualify - Qualify - Qualify - You are the

one choosing, not her. Remember, No one

can make you feel inferior without your

permission!

 

"When things aren't going the way YOU want them to, you need to cut it off"

 

"Style: Pleasure meeting you"

 

~ I think this is a GREAT crutch to give to guys, especially as having a solution of preparing (when doing mental preparations for sarging), by visualizing [mckenaa/deangelo 7reps style] that when a girl is extremely bitchy (or you approach very creepily) that you go pleasure meeting you… bitch -boomàpleasure meeting you … ESPECIALLY… since guys are always running around asking "how do I smack her down, when she insults me" "how do I end up the victor if she rejects me?" "give me a COMEBACK to put her down",  "DavidX: Guys are going in expecting to be insulted… it's like, they're going in ready to defend themselves, before they've even been attacked" well... the solution to AFC's biggest AA nightmare: "pleasure meeting you" with a fun smile (pickup101 has great examples of reacting to bitchy sets in a very fun, positive attitude, it's a good attitude to take for the "pleasure meeting you")... you do this even if she has her back turned and isn't listening to you "pleasure meeting you" ~

 

TRACK 13 – direct vs. indirect [0:00] [2] {2}

 

19) Indirect approaches are good for lower

self-confidence. They are low-risk, low yield.

Direct approaches are good for higher selfconfidence.

They are high-risk, high yield.

 

Both are essential to know.

 

EVEN in an indirect approach, SHE KNOWS that you like her. She has a RADAR that picks it up. BUT THAT IS OK! Since she's open to the approach of any man she's interested in. She just needs time to figure out if you're of any interest to her.

 

TRACK 14 – Courage [0:00] [2] {2}

 

TRACK 15 – It's not what you say, but how [0:00] [2] {2}

 

7) It’s not what you say but how you say it.

 

[5] 2:02 – tonality examples

 

TRACK 16 – THE PAIN BARRIER!! [0:00] [2] {2}

 

TRACK 17 – approach-ability is almost entirely based on belief-systems [0:00] [2] {x} ~ Look at McKenna's positivity for an extremely good explanation of belief systems, or major mark's renegade seminar for a lot of KJ-ing on belief systems : ) ~

 

TRACK 18 – Introvert vs. extrovert [0:00] [2] {4}

 

Basically explains how the main difference between introverts and extroverts isn't in their social skills. It's in how they re-charger their batteries. You can be a very social and charismatic introvert for example… The difference is that introverts need alone-time (reading a book, listening to music)to relax from socializing, so you need to balance out.

 

Just make sure to balance it out with the right amount of alone-time to recharge your batteries!! That's crucial in doing all of this, you want to avoid burnout ~burnout SUCKS! coz in the end you end up taking MORE time to progress, when you do too much approaching work, and then spend time in burned-out mode... it suxxors :D~

 

22) Recharge your batteries! Avoid burnout

by balancing your approaching with other

activities, but ideally weave the A.I.M.

model into everything you do. Approaching

women is an inter-woven part of your life,

not a separate part.

 

TRACK 19 – Chemistry is a perception [0:00] [9] {4}

 

10) Chemistry is a perception. You are in

control of the experience and interaction. If

you keep the approach smooth, she will assume

you have chemistry.

 

HSV – social pressure manipulation [10]

 

TRACK 20 – Wingman notes [0:00] [9] {4}

 

I recommend for starters to work with a wing-man, since going solo requires a different and much harder skill-set, and a wingman gives you a little bit of that social proof.

 

You will be associated  to the qualities of your wingman (perception by association to)...

 

TRACK 21 – Be fluid [0:00] [9] {4}

 

9) Stay flexible and fluid. You must be like

water, flowing and adjusting to the social

dynamics of the situations you find yourself

in.

 

TRACK 22 – The powerfull vibe [0:00] [9] {4}

 

Do breathing excercises etc...

 

TRACK 23 – affirmations [0:00] [3] {3}

 

14) The best way to get confident in approaching

women is to approach women

and get past the fear. Affirmations aren’t a

good substitute.

 

TRACK 24 – male panic syndrome [0:00] [7] {3}

 

It's the point where she seems to gather all the power in the conversation and you tend to panic out and lose your state.

 

TRACK 25 – Where can I meet nice guys!?!? [0:00] [9] {3}

 

Chances are that she DOES want you to introduce yourself to her!

 

i'll give ANY woman a chance!

 

TRACK 26 – You have to make approaching FUN  for you! [0:00] [10] {9}

 

You have to condition into your CNS a feeling, an anchor of having fun with approaching, that's what you want to associate with this. You don't want to associate pain, or boredom, or (do I have to.... blah) to the approaching thing.

 

Your CNS is designed to avoid pain, and seek PLEASURE. You must associate pleasure to approaching!

 

TRACK 2-1 – HER body language [0:00] [3] {8}

 

-          ...

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