1 - Intro - Module 1 - Lyndsey - Transcript.pdf - Robbins - Madanes Coach Training - nelbereduardo94

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C: Cloe Madanes

T: Tony Robbins

J: Jason

C: Have you ever made a dreadful mistake in your life or in your business that still haunts you today? Have you

ever been plagued by guilt, regret, remorse, and the feeling that you can never make amends for what you have

done? Even with the best optimistic attitude and great work habits it can be difficult to face the losses that were

incurred in the past. In this film you will meet a woman who was facing a terrible mistake that had put her

family in financial jeopardy. In a little more than an hour she had a new understanding of how to tap into the

greatest source of strength in her life so that she can face each day with courage, determination, and love. You

will also see how it is possible to change a relationship by changing one person.

Our story begins at an Anthony Robbins seminar of nearly 3,000 people. Tony has just been talking about the

spheres of life. Most people have three major spheres of life: your self, your work, and your relationships, and

most people focus mainly on one of these spheres, a little bit on the second sphere, and only a minimal amount

on the third sphere of your life and activity. Tony asked participants to stand up and say in what order they have

prioritized their spheres. Lindsey stood up to share.

T: Tell us what were your spheres, what was focus within them, what’s the cost and what to do they need to be,

how’s it going to change your life for the better? How about this lady right back here? Yes, ma’am. Give her a

hand. [audience cheers] What’s your name, where are you from?

L: Lindsey and I’m from Brisbon.

T: Lindsey! Alright. Lindsey, tell us: what were your spheres, what were you focused on within the spheres,

what’s been the price?

L: Um, my spheres I think were equal in what I’d say my work, my relationship would be the smallest part, and

my other...

T: Wait, your work and?

L: My work and myself.

T: OK, were equal?

L: I think so.

T: OK.

L: Lindsey

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L: Yea. And my relationship’s I think the smaller of, you know the little dot down below.

T: OK. And what’s been, what have you been trying to get through the work? What needs were you trying to

meet primarily at the top of your work and your self?

L: Um, I have had a very sever gambling problem over a number of years. Um, I managed to kick the habit of

that about twelve months ago but unfortunately I’ve been left with enormous amounts of debt. [her voice

trembling] For me to get rid of the debt I need to work.

T: OK. So now we have what the real challenge is. Your really working for what need then?

L: For me I think. Um...

T: No, but which need? Connection and love, growth, contribution, certainty, variety, significance, what’s the

main reason you’re working?

C: According to human needs psychology, all human motivation can be explained as the desire to meet one or

more of six primary human needs. These are certainty: the need for stability, safety, and comfort, variety: the

need for stimulus and change, significance: the need to be special and worthy of attention, connection and love:

the need for connection with others and ultimately to love and be loved, growth: the need to develop and

expand, and contribution: the need to give beyond yourself.

In order to understand any behavior, whether it is someone else’s behavior or your own, it is important to

understand which need you are trying to meet. For instance, it is one thing to try to make money out of a

craving for certainty and safety, and it is a very different thing to try to make money out of the sense of

contribution and growth. Tony is asking Lindsey to understand some of the motivations in her life right now.

L: I’d say to re-establish the connection and love with those I’ve hurt.

T: OK. So you’re working to re-establish it, that’s what’s behind it, but when you think about going to work,

mostly you’re thinking about making money so that you can do well enough to re-establish that, is that right?

L: Um, sort of, but I think mainly I just feel, um, through the days of gambling I’ve managed to get rid of the

habit itself but the hurt that all the baggage I have left is the debt that’s behind. So I used to smoke a lot and I

used to drink a lot when I gambled as well, both of which happily I’ve kicked the habits of also, but the one

thing...

T: Give her a hand for that. [audience cheers]

C: Lindsey shows her strength as she explains that she got rid of her gambling, smoking, and drinking habits but

she is tearful as she talks about her baggage: the heavy debt that she carries. As Lindsey offers the word

baggage as a metaphor that symbolizes her problem, Tony will use metaphors and symbols to transform Lindsey

and her relationship with her husband.

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L: The one thing that I have left is the debt and that’s just a constant reminder to me of always. It doesn’t matter

how much I look to my future, I consistently have this bag that I carry around with me so I can focus on my

work to try and free myself of the bag that I have carrying around with me.

T: Well what if you put the bag down?

L: My arm would be less heavy.

T: And what if you took the bag and you put it into a little rocket and you shot it into the sun?

L: [laughing] Um, yea, that’d get rid of the bag.

T: [laughing] Yea. And after that’s happened, tell me what happens when you walk outside?

L: Um, the world’s a lot nicer place, life isn’t so tough, it’s not so stressful.

T: And how does work feel now?

L: Work’s actually always felt great. I love what I do.

T: Oh.

L: I honestly enjoy what I do. I’m blessed to know that what I can do I can earn money from but I really do

sincerely enjoy what I do, that’s not, it’s not difficult at all what I do work wise.

C: A moment ago Lindsey tearfully expressed her pain at having to work to pay off her debt, the bag that she

carried. Tony gave her three metaphorical ways of getting rid of the bag and now Lindsey cheerfully explains

that she loves her work and that it’s not difficult at all. Such is the power of metaphor.

A metaphor is a word or a phrase that represents one thing while symbolizing something else. Metaphors have a

powerful influence on the unconscious mind so a bag can be simply a bag or it can symbolize a heavy debt. The

imaginary act of setting down the bag or shooting it into space symbolizes getting rid of the suffering caused by

the debt. As Lindsey imagines getting rid of the bag, meaning the suffering, she can experience the love that she

actually has for her work.

T: I want to ask you that are watching, did something? You might think it’s a little word game but it wasn’t.

Watch what just happened. Right now her reason for working just changed. True or false? Could you feel it?

Could you see it? Can you feel it?

L: Yea, definitely.

T: Now how did that happen that fast? The problem hasn’t gone away, just the bag. The heavy bag she’s

dragging along. Now what I’m doing with her right now, just so you know is remember I said your

subconscious mind is the most powerful one of all and I’ll give you a clue. The brain responds to symbols or

metaphors more powerfully than anything. What’s more powerful: the word Nazi or the swastika? The word

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Christ or the cross?

Now here’s the problem. We feel in our bodies whatever we represent in our brains and she’s representing all of

her pain attached to one metaphor called the luggage, the baggage, the heavy bag she’s dragging along and as

long as she’s focused on that, she can’t actually notice that this has all been a gift because she actually loves her

work. It actually makes her feel alive. The truth of the matter is she got all this from God so that she would go

back to what she loves and feel productive and feel like there was something she could give on a daily basis,

even when her children are going through the problems they’re going through. Oh yes, I know who you are.

[audience laughs] You have a child with cerebral palsy, right? [Lindsey tearfully nods yes] Another one with

something else, I don’t remember. What is it? Cerebral palsy...

L: Um, and my oldest daughter’s got cerebral palsy and autism.

T: And autism. Well that would make you probably want a place to escape since love is what you’re really about

and you probably feel like there’s nothing you could do.

C: Tony knew from the information provided by Lindsey before the event that she had two daughters: one with

cerebral palsy and one with cerebral palsy and autism. From the brief interchange with Lindsey he knew that

her most important human need was for love and he understood her terrible pain in feeling that there was

nothing she could do for her daughters.

T: ‘Cause pain is when your life conditions don’t match your model of the world but suffering comes when your

life conditions don’t match your model of the world and you feel powerless to change it.

C: Lindsey’s pain comes from having two daughters who are so sick. That was not what she had expected from

life. It was not her model of the world. Tony makes the distinction between pain and suffering. Pain is a fact of

life, it is the experience of hurt. Suffering comes from feeling powerless to stop the pain, to change it. Pain is

inevitable but suffering is not. Suffering is optional. We can always do something to change the pain, even if

only in small ways. Everything in the world is constantly changing and so the nature of pain changes also.

T: I understand suffering at all levels and I understand your specific suffering and it’s time to stop suffering. It’s

time to give your daughters what they deserve, which is a Mama who knows there is a plan bigger than their

understanding of what’s going on. And then autism, cerebral palsy, all those pieces, that you still do make a

difference for them ‘cause love is the only thing they really need and you are a lover. And when you go to work

you can express it that place and when you come home you can let that work where you feel filled up ‘cause

you know you’ve done something that’s contributed and been alive, you can take that home to your daughters at

whatever level it is, and you can trust that force is significant, even though they still have pain.

C: Tony points out that Lindsey is not powerless with regard to her daughters. She is powerful in easing her pain

through her love.

T: If you were to do that then the bag, [Lindsey smiles] that’s right, that blew up and vaporized, you’d hike that

off your shoulder and you’d walk a hell of a lot taller and you’d think, “God must really know I’m a force of

nature to give me these daughters and know that in spite of everything, I’m still gonna love, I’m gonna grow,

I’m gonna expand, and there’s plenty of proof. I tried to deaden the pain through the distraction of gambling,

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through alcohol, through cigarettes, changing my physiology, none of it worked because God had a bigger plan

for me and the plan for me is work, grow, expand who I am so there’s more of me as I grow to give to those I

love, and I am more than enough. I was put here at this time for this reason and even though it might not look

like it’s magical and they way I think it should be, if I can’t change the environment then I’ve gotta change my

model of the world and I have to find an empowering meaning and your vibrancy and your gift will be your

ability to step out of your own pain. That doesn’t mean not feel it, but to not stay in that pain, and to use that

pain as drive to give more to those you love.

C: Tony first helped Lindsey to metaphorically get rid of her bag then he acknowledged the power of her love.

Now he moves to give Lindsey a new meaning in life where love and contribution to others will be her strength

and her gift.

T: And the more you do that, that’s where spiritual growth happens ‘cause spiritual growth is when you start out

focused only on yourself, and that’s when you’ll be miserable, and then you’ll care about people around you

‘cause they can give you pain or pleasure, their hurts are your hurts, and eventually you care about everybody

including people that are supposedly strangers and you really care about them, not ‘cause they can give you

pain or pleasure but because you know that we’re all here for a reason and a purpose and it serves us and it’s our

job to find the empowering meaning of why we’re here. If you find that, life is magical and suffering stops.

Remember, pain is part of life. It’s a good thing. The pain that digs inside of you, this deep, deep, deep pain

opens a well. Your job is what are you going to fill it up with, love or fear? Resentment and anger or gratitude

knowing that even though you don’t understand it, there’s a faith inside you that says there’s something

beautiful that can come from this. There’s more inside of me because of this.

C: There is always a choice to be made. Pain can result in resentment and anger or it can bring out strength,

love, and spiritual fulfillment.

T: Maybe I’m only talking to you because if people believe that then their subconscious is totally open for me to

penetrate them. ‘Cause everybody in this room has had suffering, suffering of various kinds, suffering happens

when you think the way life’s supposed to be is not the way it is, especially if something outside your control

has f[bleep]ed it up.

C: Through his conversation with Lindsey, Tony is influencing everyone in the room to make the best of their

challenges and of the pain that is an inevitable part of living.

T: But if you’re the woman you’re made to be, if you’re the man you’re made to be, then you’ll suck it up, get

out of that suffering, stop feeling sorry for yourself and step up and do what’s necessary now so that the gifts

that God has given you the f[bleep] up. Not the story, not the excuse, not the bad feelings. Life is hard at times.

Pain is part of life; suffering is an option. Pain’s a damn good thing if you use it. So what are you feeling now,

my dear?

L: I always feel that I have stepped up to the plate for my kids.

T: Yes.

1 - Intro - Module 1 - Lyndsey - Transcript.pdf

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