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"Lolita,  or  the Confession of a White Widowed Male," such were the

two titles under which the writer of the present note received  the  strange

pages  it  preambulates.  "Humbert Humbert," their author, had died in legal

captivity, of coronary thrombosis, on November 16, 1952, a few  days  before

his  trial  was scheduled to start. His lawyer, my good friend and relation,

Clarence Choate Clark, Esq., now of the District of Columbia bar,  in  asking

me  to  edit  the  manuscript, based his request on a clause in his client's

will which empowered my eminent cousin to use the discretion in all  matters

pertaining  to  the  preparation of "Lolita" for print. Mr. Clark's decision

may have been influenced by the fact that the editor of his choice had  just

been  awarded  the  Poling  Prize  for  a  modest  work ("Do the Senses make

Sense?") wherein certain morbid states and perversions had been discussed.

     My task proved simpler than either of us had anticipated. Save for  the

correction of obvious solecisms and a careful suppression of a few tenacious

details  that  despite  "H.H."'s  own efforts still subsisted in his text as

signposts and tombstones (indicative of places or persons that  taste  would

conceal  and  compassion spare), this remarkable memoir is presented intact.

Its author's bizarre cognomen is his own invention;  and,  of  course,  this

mask--through  which  two hypnotic eyes seem to glow--had to remain unlifted

in accordance with its wearer's wish. While  "Haze"  only  rhymes  with  the

heroine's  real  surname,  her first name is too closely interwound with the

inmost fiber of the book to allow one to alter it; nor (as the  reader  will

perceive  for himself) is there any practical necessity to do so. References

to "H.H."'s crime may be looked up by the inquisitive in  the  daily  papers

for  September-October  1952;  its cause and purpose would have continued to

come under my reading lamp.

     For the benefit  of  old-fashioned  readers  who  wish  to  follow  the

destinies of the "real" people beyond the "true" story, a few details may be

given  as  received  from  Mr.  "Windmuller," or "Ramsdale," who desires his

identity suppressed so that "the  long  shadow  of  this  sorry  and  sordid

business" should not reach the community to which he is proud to belong. His

daughter,  "Louise," is by now a college sophomore, "Mona Dahl" is a student

in Paris. "Rita" has recently married the proprietor of a hotel in  Florida.

Mrs.  "Richard  F.  Schiller"  died in childbed, giving birth to a stillborn

girl, on Christmas Day 1952, in Gray  Star,  a  settlemen  in  the  remotest

Northwest.  "Vivian  Darkbloom"  has  written  a  biography, "My Cue," to be

publshed shortly, and critics who have perused the manuscript  call  it  her

best  book. The caretakers of the various cemeteries involved report that no

ghosts walk.

     Viewed simply as a novel, "Lolita" deals with situations  and  emotions

that  would  remain  exasperatingly vague to the reader had their expression

been etiolated by means  of  platitudinous  evasions.  True,  not  a  single

obscene term is to be found in the whole work; indeed, the robust philistine

who  is  conditioned  by  modern conventions into accepting without qualms a

lavish array of four-letter words in a banal novel, will be quite shocked by

their absence here. If, however, for this paradoxical  prude's  comfort,  an

editor  attempted to dilute or omit scenes that a certain type of mind might

call "aphrodisiac" (see in this respect  the  monumental  decision  rendered

December 6, 1933, by Hon. John M. Woolsey in regard to another, considerably

more  outspoken, book), one would have to forego the publication of "Lolita"

altogether, since those  very  scenes  that  one  might  ineptly  accuse  of

sensuous  existence  of  their own, are the most strictly functional ones in

the development of a tragic tale tending unswervingly to nothing less than

a moral apotheosis. The cynic may say that commercial pornography makes  the

same  claim;  the learned may counter by asserting that "H.H."'s impassioned

confession is a tempest in a test tube; that at least 12% of American  adult

males--a  "conservative"  estimate  according  to  Dr.  Blanche  Schwarzmann

(verbal communication)--enjoy yearly, in one way  or  another,  the  special

experience "H.H." describes with such despare; that had our demented diarist

gone,  in the fatal summer of 1947, to a competent psycho-pathologist, there

would have been no disaster; but then, neither would there  have  been  this

book.

     This  commentator  may be excused for repeating what he has stressed in

his own books and lectures, namely that  "offensive"  is  frequently  but  a

synonym for "unusual;" and a great work of art is of course always original,

and thus by its very nature should come as a more or less shocking surprise.

I  have  no  intention  to  glorify  "H.H."  No doubt, he is horrible, is is

abject, he is a shining example of moral leprosy, a mixture of ferocity  and

jocularity  that  betrays  supreme  misery  perhaps, but is not conducive to

attractiveness. He is ponderously capricious. Many of his casual opinions on

the people and scenery of this country are ludicrous.  A  desperate  honesty

that  throbs  through  his  confession  does  not  absolve  him from sins of

diabolical cunning. He is abnormal. He is not a gentleman. But how magically

his singing violin can conjure up a tendresse, a compassion for Lolita  that

makes us entranced with the book while abhorring its author!

     As  a  case  history,  "Lolita"  will  become,  no  doubt, a classic in

psychiatric circles. As a work of art, it transcends its expiatory  aspects;

and  still  more  important  to us than scientific significance and literary

worth, is the ethical impact the book should have on the serious reader; for

in this poignant personal study there lurks a general  lesson;  the  wayward

child,  the  egotistic  mother, the panting maniac--these are not only vivid

characters in a unique story: they warn us of dangerous trends;  they  point

out  potent  evils. "Lolita" should make all of us--parents, social workers,

educators--apply ourselves with still greater vigilance and  vision  to  the

task of bringing up a better generation in a safer world.

 

     John Ray, Jr., Ph.D.

     Widworth, Mass

 

 

 

* PART ONE *

1

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta:

the tip  of  the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap,

at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

     She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four  feet  ten  in  one

sock.  She  was  Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on

the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.

     Did she have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In  point  of  fact,

there  might  have  been  no  Lolita  at  all had I not loved, one summer, a

certain initial girl-child. In a princedom by the sea.  Oh  when?  About  as

many  years before Lolita was born as my age was that summer. You can always

count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.

     Ladies and gentlemen of the  jury,  exhibit  number  one  is  what  the

seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this

tangle of thorns.

 

2

I  was  born  in  1910,  in  Paris.  My father was a gentle, easy-going

person, a salad of racial genes:  a  Swiss  citizen,  of  mixed  French  and

Austrian descent, with a dash of the Danube in his veins. I am going to pass

around  in  a  minute some lovely, glossy-blue picture-postcards. He owned a

luxurious hotel on the Riviera. His father and  two  grandfathers  had  sold

wine,  jewels  and silk, respectively. At thirty he married an English girl,

daughter of Jerome Dunn, the  alpinist,  and  granddaughter  of  two  Dorset

parsons,  experts  in  obscure  subjects--paleopedology  and  Aeolian harps,

respectively. My very photogenic mother died in a  freak  accident  (picnic,

lightning) when I was three, and, save for a pocket of warmth in the darkest

past,  nothing  of her subsists within the hollows and dells of memory, over

which, if you can still stand my style (I am writing under observation), the

sun of my infancy had set: surely, you all know those redolent  remnants  of

day  suspended,  with  the  midges,  about  some  hedge in bloom or suddenly

entered and traversed by the rambler, at the bottom of a hill, in the summer

dusk; a furry warmth, golden midges.

     My mother's elder sister, Sybil, whom  a  cousin  of  my  father's  had

married  and  then  neglected,  served  in  my immediate family as a kind of

unpaid governess and housekeeper. Somebody told me later that she  had  been

in love with my father, and that he had lightheartedly taken advantage of it

one  rainy  day  and  forgotten  it  by  the time the weather cleared. I was

extremely fond of her, despite the rigidity--the fatal rigidity--of some  of

her  rules.  Perhaps  she  wanted  to make of me, in the fullness of time, a

better widower than my father. Aunt Sybil had pink-rimmed azure eyes  and  a

waxen  complexion.  She  wrote poetry. She was poetically superstitious. She

said she knew she would die soon after my sixteenth birthday, and  did.  Her

husband,  a  great  traveler in perfumes, spent most of his time in America,

where eventually he founded a firm and acquired a bit of real estate.

     I grew, a happy, healthy child in a bright would of illustrated  books,

clean  sand,  orange  trees,  friendly  dogs,  sea vistas and smiling faces.

Around me the splendid Hotel Mirana revolved as a kind of private  universe,

a  whitewashed  cosmos within the blue greater one that blazed outside. From

the aproned pot-scrubber to the flanneled  potentate,  everybody  liked  me,

everybody  petted  me. Elderly American ladies leaning on their canes listed

towards me like towers of Pisa. Ruined Russian princesses who could not  pay

my father, bought me expensive bonbons. He, mon cher petit papa, took

me out boating and biking, taught me to swim and dive and water-ski, read to

me  Don Quixote and Les Miserables, and I adored and respected

him and felt glad for him whenever I  overheard  the  servants  discuss  his

various  lady-friends,  beautiful  and  kind  beings who made much of me and

cooed and shed precious tears over my cheerful motherlessness.

     I attended an English day school a few miles from  home,  and  there  I

played  rackets and fives, and got excellent marks, and was on perfect terms

with schoolmates and teachers alike. The only definite sexual events that  I

can  remember  as  having  occurred  before my thirteenth birthday (that is,

before I first saw my little Annabel) were: a solemn,  decorous  and  purely

theoretical  talk  about pubertal surprises in the rose garden of the school

with an American kid, the son of a then  celebrated  motion-picture  actress

whom  he  seldom  saw  in  the three-dimensional world; and some interesting

reactions on the part of my  organism  to  certain  photographs,  pearl  and

umbra,  with  infinitely  soft  partings, in Pichon's sumptuous La Beautи

Humaine that that I had filched from under a  mountain  of  marble-bound

Graphics  in  the  hotel  library.  Later, in his delightful debonair

manner, my father gave me all the information he thought I needed about sex;

this was just before sending me, in the autumn of 1923, to a lycиe in

Lyon (where we were to spend three winters); but alas, in the summer of that

year, he was touring Italy with Mme de R. and her daughter, and I had nobody

to complain to, nobody to consult.

 

3

Annabel  was,  like  the  writer,  of  mixed  parentage:  half-English,

half-Dutch,  in  her case. I remember her features far less distinctly today

than I did a few years ago, before I knew Lolita. There  are  two  kinds  of

visual  memory:  one when you skillfully recreate an image in the laboratory

of your mind, with your eyes open (and then I see Annabel  in  such  general

terms  as:  "honey-colored  skin,"  "think arms," "brown bobbed hair," "long

lashes," "big bright mouth"); and the other when you instantly  evoke,  with

shut eyes, on the dark inner side of your eyelids, the objective, absolutely

optical  replica  of  a  beloved face, a little ghost in natural colors (and

this is how I see Lolita).

     Let me therefore primly limit myself, in describing Annabel, to  saying

she  was a lovely child a few months my junior. Her parents were old friends

of my aunt's, and as stuffy as she. They had rented a  villa  not  far  from

Hotel  Mirana.  Bald  brown  Mr.  Leigh  and  fat, powdered Mrs. Leigh (born

Vanessa van Ness). How I loathed them! At first, Annabel  and  I  talked  of

peripheral  affairs.  She  kept lifting handfuls of fine sand and letting it

pour  through  her  fingers.  Our  brains  were  turned  the  way  those  of

intelligent  European preadolescents were in our day and set, and I doubt if

much individual genius should be assigned to our interest in  the  plurality

of  inhabited worlds, competitive tennis, infinity, solipsism and so on. The

softness and fragility of baby animals caused us the same intense pain.  She

wanted  to  be  a  nurse  in some famished Asiatic country; I wanted to be a

famous spy.

     All at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly  in  love

with  each  other;  hopelessly,  I should add, because that frenzy of mutual

possession might have been  assuaged  only  by  our  actually  imbibing  and

assimilating  every  particle  of  each other's soul and flesh; but there we

were, unable even to mate as slum children would have  so  easily  found  an

opportunity  to  do.  After one wild attempt we made to meet at night in her

garden (of which more later), the only privacy we were allowed was to be out

of earshot but not out of sight on the populous part  of  the  plage.

There,  on  the  soft sand, a few feet away from our elders, we would sprawl

all morning, in a petrified paroxysm of desire, and take advantage of  every

blessed  quirk  in space and time to touch each other: her hand, half-hidden

in the sand, would creep toward me, its slender brown  fingers  sleepwalking

nearer  and nearer; then, her opalescent knee would start on a long cautious

journey; sometimes a chance rampart built by  younger  children  granted  us

sufficient  concealment  to  graze each other's salty lips; these incomplete

contacts drove our healthy and inexperienced young bodies to such a state of

exasperation that not even the cold blue water, under which we still  clawed

at each other, could bring relief.

     Among  some  treasures  I lost during the wanderings of my adult years,

there was a snapshot taken by my aunt which showed Annabel, her parents  and

the  staid,  elderly,  lame  gentleman,  a  Dr. Cooper, who that same summer

courted my aunt, grouped around a table in a sidewalk cafe. Annabel did  not

come  out well, caught as she was in the act of bending over her chocolat

glacи, and her thin bare shoulders and the parting  in  her  hair  were

about  all  that  could  be identified (as I remember that picture) amid the

sunny blur into which her lost loveliness graded; but  I,  sitting  somewhat

apart  from  the  rest,  came out with a kind of dramatic conspicuousness: a

moody, beetle-browed boy in a  dark  sport  shirt  and  well-tailored  white

shorts,  his legs crossed, sitting in profile, looking away. That photograph

was taken on the last day of our fatal summer and just a few minutes  before

we  made our second and final attempt to thwart fate. Under the flimsiest of

pretexts (this was our very last chance, and  nothing  really  mattered)  we

escaped  from  the  cafe to the beach, and found a desolate stretch of sand,

and there, in the violet shadow of some red rocks forming a  kind  of  cave,

had  a  brief  session  of  avid  caresses,  with  somebody's  lost  pair of

sunglasses for only witness. I  was  on  my  knees,  and  on  the  point  of

possessing  my darling, when two bearded bathers, the old man of the sea and

his brother, came out of the sea with exclamations of ribald  encouragement,

and four months later she died of typhus in Corfu.

 

4

I  leaf  again  and  again  through  these miserable memories, and keep

asking myself, was it then, in the glitter of that remote summer,  that  the

rift  in  my  life began; or was my excessive desire for that child only the

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